Quietly Waiting for Death

Mom, HELP!

What is going on!?

There's a spider in the shower with meeeeeeee!

We turned on the hot water to drown it down the drain.  It wasn't even huge!

THAT WAS THE SCARIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

I walk out of the bathroom saying, Child, you saw your Mom murdered in front of you.  I highly doubt that was the scariest thing that has ever happened to you.

Mom, that happened like 6 years ago.  

This scene happened a few days ago and I have thought about it every day since!  Dani and I spend most mornings reading this book about sex and purity before school.  We are so in-love with it that we read on the weekends, too.  This morning we sat on the porch and I asked her how she could possibly think the spider in the shower was the scariest day, ever!  I just would never have imagined she would ever say that about anything other than the day her mother died. Or, maybe the days and months following when her dad was on the run from police.  We ended up having the coolest conversation.

I took notes to share in this blog...Daniela is in total agreement with me sharing her story.  She believes in GLORIFYING GOD in all things.  We don't live hidden secretive lives.

Mom, I’ve forgiven and made peace. I need to move on in life and I can’t be stuck there. How can I have a new life if I’m not willing to move on from my past?

Jesus made me think of the future, I was stuck in the past. I thought my life was stuck thinking and reliving this moment in time, but when I met Jesus He told me He had a plan for my future and that I DID HAVE A FUTURE. 

I don’t think you forget it, the event that happened, but I also don’t think of my past and single out this one moment of time as “my past.” Instead, I think of my whole life was in darkness, not just this one thing, and He took me into the Light. 

After I got Saved, I wanted to hold on to it (the memory of her mother's death), but I realized holding onto it was holding me back from what God had for me. NEW LIFE. Place. School. 

I was quietly waiting for death back then.

She begins to cry. 

Me:  Why are you crying right now?

I realize how big His healing was to not stay there. Dark tunnel--no light. I cry because of what Jesus did in me. He took away a pain that I never thought would end. 

With Jesus, I finally wanted to live and not die. 

Mija

Do you want to see what we are reading?

https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Jesus-Conversations-Church-Forgot/dp/0801019052