No Weapon Formed Against Me

I would definitely say that 2020 has been a year of great change.

Wouldn't we all?

After two friends confirmed that they heard the Lord say I should move to the safe house property, my family packed up and moved as my contract came to an end at my apartment in town. I respect/trust both of these girls in hearing Him like I do myself.  This was my first decision ever that I didn't hear God tell me Himself to do something, but I was confident it was right.

4 days at the property and life was great and I felt so confirmed and at peace here.  I cried apologizing to God that I didn't want to move here!  It's far outside of town, I wouldn't be able to workout with my group of girls, the market is so far away, I love the Avenida to walk with friends--blah, but we got here and love flushing toilet paper, love clean water out of the sinks, taking baths, etc (we have a well and its clean water unlike the rest of the country).

Then things changed.

I woke up tossing and turning hearing voices one night.  It was outside but I thought I was dreaming.  I don't sleep well because I think I have Apnea, so I tend to wake up mid-dreaming and go back to bed.  This time I woke up, I heard voices again that sounded like it was in my room.  Slowly, I got up and looked outside to find guys by the washer machine on back porch by my room.  I had gun shots on my computer and I tried yelling at them--no one seemed to care.  I called my friend Juan to come and got Daniela up to help me incase they entered the house.  They never did.  One was caught by police and jailed for just the night.

A few nights later at 10:40pm I heard a slow walk down the stairs.  I knew it wasn't Jessica because she walks like a 300lb man down the stairs including skipping steps and landing like its a Ninja obstacle course.  I immediately got out of bed and planned to meet it in the middle.

Here's D walking towards me with a bat.

"Mom," in a voice that means something bad is about to be said.  In words that are not to be repeated, I asked her what was going on.  You won't believe this, she laughs a laugh that isn't a real laugh.  One of those inappropriate laughs that I'm not too sure why we do sometimes in fear or embarrassment?

You have got to be kidding me!?  Add a few more words that aren't appropriate.

There are men outside talking, Mom.  And no, I didn't come tell you immediately, I waited to make sure they are really there and that I am not crazy.

I tell her that we need to get sneakers on and then I realize we have all our sneakers outside on this rack I painted for the porch (the next day all sneakers are moved inside). I call Juan again to come and he does immediately, and I am so thankful for a friend here that comes quickly and owns a gun ;)

He finds out that the noises we heard were guys with a broken down car that were with the owner of the property next to ours.  It's my ex-accountant's father. He has cows on it and feeds them nightly.  No one lives right next to me here but owns the desolate property.  Ok, relieved.

The next day I have Dani call my accountant to tell him to tell his dad (that has property next to me) to not call me Americana if he needs my attention from the road.  He said he tried to tell me but I ignored him at like 6pm.  Evidently they left and came back later.  While Dani was talking to him he told D, I know your mom knows because she can see it on the cameras but you have guys sitting up at the road watching you.  I think you are a target.  It's very dangerous when they watch you during the day, it means they are looking down and keeping your schedule and of the workers here.  You need to get a gun or you need to get a security guard.  My dad and I think you are marked and it shouldn't be taken lightly.  The same two guys were at your house last night when we came back to get our car, but they left immediately.  They always leave when my dad pulls up and he has seen them several times. 

So who did we hear that night?  Who knows.  Could have been the guys waiting for help with the flat tire or the guys watching us.

I had Dani ask him if their intent is usually to harm the occupants or just to get their goods.  He advised to let them take whatever they want and do not fight.  If you fight, you will be harmed greatly. They think you can identify them and they would rather be put away longer by harming you then by just taking your things.

Honestly, Dani y I both needed to hear that because we are both warriors.  We both have baseball bats by our beds and our mentality is we will kill you if you enter the house.  We retracted this plan and decided that we would hide.  Barn door sliders are so pretty but they are not good for deciding where to hide and lock!

I was driving to Santiago when he told us this.  I must admit, I was pissed.  A mark?  Marking us?  Marking our property?  I got home and a friend called asking if I could hide an ex-gang member that became a Christian.  I felt like my life was NOT real that day.  After considering it and then learning all the details, I felt like that wasn't the best decision.  Luke already told me no way and I was heavily weighing his gift of discernment.  I had woken up that day and felt led to fast.  Then, I heard all these things and i was so thankful God led me into a fast to clear my mind and be praying all day for direction.  I declined being a refuge for this guy.  I felt like I NEEDED a city of refuge myself!  The more we talked about gang activity we pondered on the idea that we could be a mission for a gang.  I originally thought that the police roughing up the guy (23 y/o) and arresting him would make others stay out, but I learned that when someone is harmed in an assignment, this could make them want to send more in to let gang members show their loyalty to go in knowing you could get hurt.  And guys watching during the day is NOT NORMAL.

I just couldn't believe this was my life.

I felt the Lord call me to pray over the property.  I road the 4w with D and screamed prayers from the top of my lungs declaring evil to leave.  THE ONLY MARK WE HAVE IS OF CHRIST!  In the end times, those of the Beast will be marked but so WILL THOSE OF CHRIST.  I felt God ask me to go on the porch and worship.  I wanted to cry, NO, GOD!  It is dark out there and no one is going outside after 7pm when the sun begins to set!  

This was the first time since I started to follow Christ that when I heard a lie of the devil, immediately the Holy Spirit was just as loud following it with Truth.  I felt almost crazy in my head with how loud it could both be.  God would say I won't be shaken, the devil would say you just wait for the dark to come.

And honestly, every night it gets dark, I didn't let the girls out of the house and I seriously struggled with not letting the darkness overcome me.  I would check doors are locked and recheck a kid didn't open one.  I would get my lights on outside immediately and leave them on all night.

People said you need a gun, I looked at one.  Some said I needed dogs.  Juan dropped me off two street dogs and somehow I actually like them.  You need razor wire, you need higher fences, you need angry dogs, you need... whatever.

God kept telling me that I need HIM.  That is it.  Most nights I get in bed and I need to rebuke anxiety and fear.  I found myself reading and praying incessantly.  One night I felt God ask me to turn on a loud fan in my room and to not get out of bed not once for anything.  Dogs barking, stay in bed.  Cameras are sending me notifications, stay in bed.  Noises outside, stay in bed.  "I am dealing with what is going on, Phyllis."

Would you believe almost every single night I would read in bed and pass out from exhaustion without the crazy thoughts keeping me up? How did you do that, God!?

I could not believe it.  How am I sleeping so well??

Sometimes, I would find myself questioning God as to why I am single and no one to protect me.  How foolish as I have been protected every step of the way so far and I am sleeping through the night like I never do!  I found myself praying whatever is out there, You deal with it, God.  

I am so thankful to be single and to learn that God is enough.  As a single mom, I need to be the protector and the one to save my kids, etc...in this season, I am learning that all I need to do is pray and ask God for protection.  I have never felt SOO loved by God before.  I find myself in tears at how well He takes care of me and my kids.  The day I fasted I felt like my fast and prayers were breaking chains, breaking this principality over my land!  Even using the word principality was new to me!  So many bad things were happening to me and around me, I knew that this had to be broken with prayer and fasting.  The day I flipped the 4 wheeler on its side, I realized I am physically being attacked.  I am being chased out of here.  Marked. Mission. Chased. Attacked.  What in the world is going on here!?  God continued to tell me to just listen to Him.  Just let Him deal with this.

Kalee joined me in a fast and so did my friend Kim.  She's sick with COVID and IS fasting/praying for me.  I'm thankful for these warriors fighting with me.

Then God sent this storm that seemed to "clean out" the entire land.  Then, He sent a rainbow that started on the property and ended here.  I clung to that rainbow as fear began to attack me daily as soon as it got dark. NO! No weapon formed against me shall prosper.  I have nothing to fear when the most powerful being in the world lives inside of me and I can command anything in the Name of Jesus.

Nightly, I have found myself praying and praying more than ever.  Feeling like you are in danger brings on a new kind of clinging.  Psalms became my best friend. When you know that you are helpless and that the only way to win in this battle is for HIM to fight, you have to lay down and say, its yours God.

Many have asked if I am going to leave.

No.  Never.

I was sent on a mission from God to this country and I am staying until He asks me to leave.  I truly believe whatever darkness was here has been defeated.

I am excited to tell you that I hired an armed security guard.  He started tonight and that is so exciting!  I am so thankful he didn't start 3 weeks ago when this happened.  I have grown so close to God in this season that I would not change any of the circumstances for that experience.  I know I am so blessed to live a life so dependent on Him.

There is nothing sweeter than praying and God answering for your immediate needs.