Altagracia Daniela

Last week, Jessica was in trouble for something and in classic Jessica style she threw out sins of Daniela--telling me she had Facebook on her phone.  When I checked, there was no Facebook.  She had lied...but I did see a game on it that was gray.  When I touched it, it disappeared, oddly.  Long story short, Dani has Jessica's phone because Dani's smashed.  Jessica has a parental setting on her phone to not be able to download apps over 9yo.  Evidently, I never set Daniela's old phone like this, but it didn't matter to me because all downloads are sent to my phone for parental approval code.

Well, Dani memorized my code and used it to download a game that you can talk to friends within the game.  She had it on her own phone and I had no clue.  I DON'T RANDOMLY check apps bc I MUST approve them.  I do read her text messages here and there to the 2 friends she is allowed to talk to on imsg.  I'm not a bad parent in this phone area.  Now, other areas, maybe so.  So the app was gray because although she used my passcode to download it, she didn't know there was a block on older kids' apps--so she couldn't access it from Jessica's phone she is using now.  She doesn't know how to get into the kids' screen time and change those things, yet.

I love that Daniela is few and far between discipline issues that yes, she has a punishment but it doesn't bother me as much because I know she is in a process of learning and choosing to follow God or not.

We attended a local English church this week as we have mission teams coming and going with a local organization.  They were taking communion at the end, so as a song played I had both kids come to my row to talk.  They sat behind me and I sat with friends I went with.  I explained how communion is super important and to NOT take it if you have any sin that is not repented of--

1 Corin 11:

27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and [e]blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks [f]in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the [g]Lord’s body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many [h]sleep. 

I quickly discussed that taking the bread and juice in an unworthy manner has caused some to be sick or even die.  Repent of whatever you got before you do it, and if you can't right now, just don't take it.  As I went to take it, both kids sat down.  As I walked to get mine, I got a little choked up that they were taking this so serious.  High-fiving Jesus on my way to my cup as I held tears in.  

Even before I ever came to Jesus, when I visited Catholic churches, I refused to take communion when people said, "just get in line." I had no idea what it really meant and I was not willing to put that in my body out of our respect for what it meant.  Isn't that crazy?  I think so, too, but something in me said DO NOT DO THAT flippantly.  

I still remember the first time I took communion.  I TOTALLY understood it and CRIED like a baby at the beauty of it.  I totally understood what I was doing and man, was I thankful for what Jesus Christ did for me on that Cross.

As Daniela headed to get hers, tears were flowing from her eyes after repenting of something.  She told me later she didn't want to forgive Jessica for telling on her about the phone.  Jessica sat down because she didn't want to ask for prayers in her prayer group that morning. In church, we got in groups to pray. She felt like she should ask for prayers for mine and hers relationship but stayed quiet because she doesn't want people to know she sins.  I had gone with another and deserted my kids because I had a vision that morning of praying with the CMA girls and holy moly, we are group praying. Daniela figured out her own life and joined a group with Jessica.  I love her lack of dependance on me!

So Sunday night, D couldn't sleep that night.  She woke up around 3 am after a bad God dream about demons and drowning.  She woke up without air, like she was really drowning.  She felt like she should read and God showed her how she had sinned and then hid it like Achan.  She has my old Bible and a notecard fell out of it when she picked it up to read.  It was notes from Joshua 7, and she felt led to go there.  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Joshua+7&version=NKJV

When she got to the stole and hid part, it hit her heart.  She felt his conviction when she used my password, but hid it and went on trying to conceal it happened.  When I crawled into bed with her in the morning to talk because Jess asked if I knew she was up last night reading at like 3, tears flowed down her eyes to her ears staring at the ceiling.  I'm fasting today, Mom.  Why would I hear Him and ignore it!?  Why would I choose to hid something like this!?  She was so distraught about it.  I was mentally jumping up and down at this!  Yes! Yes!  Stay here, D!  I told her that repentance means starting over.  God erases this.  Devil tells us to feel guilt and live there wanting/needing more punishment. Get up and get working for God again.

She told me this morning, God convicted her to read in the mornings, not to do only night readings.  She says morning comes and she doesn't remember what she read and it doesn't stay on her mind for the day, but if she reads in the morning, she thinks about that.

If You Worry, You Care

Our mind is a war zone.

The thoughts we allow in give birth to life or to death.

Truth or lies.

Romans 8:6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Satan wants to steal, kill, destroy.

Jesus wants to give life freely, deliver life abundantly, and root in you to build His Kingdom.

When we walk in sin, we are brainwashed by the devil down a path designed for stealing, killing, destroying.  

When we take sins like anxiety, fear, and insecurity and normalize them to be "common," we open the gate saying, "everyone, this is ok."  

That's a lie.

Did you know that the most repeated command of the Bible is to...not worry.  

It only makes sense to me that the devil would put a lie against this and pin it to the chests of women everywhere that we must worry.  We literally boast about breaking this command of the Lord.  It is a badge of honor. You're not a good mother if you don't worry about your family.  We are even told to never stop worrying about them.  Continue to worry for all their years into adulthood.  Worry about everyone and everything around you and try to control outcomes, so that your biggest fears never come true.

If you worry, you care.

Is that the truth?  Have we really built our family and relationships on the teachings of...Satan?

We can easily see it steal our sleep, kill quiet time with family that then needs to be used for discussing the obsessions that are causing fights in the family about thoughts and things that aren't even real.  All anxiety does is destroy ALL relationships.  Expectations can't be met of the person that needs so much to happen in order for the fears to not take place.  Peace is destroyed. A mind of anxiety, worry, fear, depression, etc is not a mind of peace.

Why do we teach our daughters to become women like this?

But guess what?  This is totally normal!

If you do not have the HOPE of Christ, you should definitely feel freaked out and not sleep well.  Your mind should be filled with daily obsessions of your worst fears that can come true.  You will not be experiencing peace.  Remember the Spirit is life and peace.  You must walk with Jesus to experience that.  Anxiety will never bring you peace, only Jesus can, and Jesus is never worrying about what is going to happen with your life, or your kids life, or your friends, or your husband.  So nor should you following Him.

An article I read said most people with anxiety/insecurity have depression.  Of course they do.  There's no peace.  It's living in darkness and that is scary. Constantly worrying causes hormones to be released and brain systems to be on HIGH alert often. It literally becomes your body's way of coping. Extra hormones are being pumped to deal with it and the system doesn't work well processing these extra hormones.

Our lives have been cheapened with Satan's lies.  We should have an abundant life.  We should be slaves to righteousness, not to sin.  We should be holy, perfect, and blameless.  Instead Christians are depressed and obsessed.

So why do we partner with Satan?

Why don't we renew our minds and take thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ?  Then we can actually be the mothers, wives, and friends God calls us to be by...PRAYING.  There is no sacrificial love going on with anxiety.  It produces nothing but destruction in division, jealousy, envy, fear, unforgiveness, etc. You can't be led by God and at the same time have anxiety.  So then we must admit, we aren't putting these things in God's hands. The One person to change things isn't being asked to change anything.  We have the answer but aren't using it. Remember, He is peace.  You can't choose both and say you're Godly... choosing to be in control and NOT ALLOWING Christ to have control.  It's prideful to think you can control things.

You must admit you can handle the world better than Him.  

We must admit that you keeping wrongs of everything in the past and holding it against people in the future is the best way to handle life.  We use past events to determine how the future will be, in anxiety.  So if you obsess about what could happen based on what you have seen happen to you and others, then you can figure out how not to let it happen.  

Scary part is that you have no control.  It's a lie, so it just cycles with no end! Lies don't have ends.  New lies come about and then you try to control that one that related to the last lie. Satan is the ruler of this world, so he is controlling you.  That's why all you feel is defeat from it stealing your joy, killing your potential, stealing your childhood, stealing your parents in divorce, killing your dad in addiction, ruining your mom in screaming and yelling for control over everyone.  Break the family unit one person at a time.

TRUTH has an end.  It NEVER CHANGES.  

Why do we filter our minds with trash? Pornography, adultery, sex outside of marriage, mental illness, food obsessions to cope with trauma issues, body obsessions, etc. 

Why do we allow these things to satisfy us but yet they never do?

I think we don't believe God can satisfy our every need.  We lack faith in Who He is.  

Acts 16:22-34 New International Version (NIV)

22 The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. 23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. 24 When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”

After being severely beaten to a bloody pulp, Paul and Silas sing.  Shouldn't these guys have anxiety and fear about death?  They have good reason! This isn't something fake Satan put in their minds, like us on the daily basis...this is real life violence that put them in death's path.  

Jesus yells from the Cross, "Forgive them!"  Immediately Jesus is forgiving them after spitting in His face.  I cannot even type that without my eyes welling up with tears.  Since the first time I read that in the Bible, it cuts me deep every time how despicable that was to spit on my Savior. He forgives them after beating Him so badly that He can't carry His own cross.  He forgives.

I always chase my sins to the lie I'm believing, so I can replace it with Truth.  Truth PUTS AN END TO THE LIES. Truth stops the cycle.  Truth sets you free.

I have walked my kids through so many "mental illnesses" using the word of God.  I have walked myself through mental illnesses to find healing with the Word of God.    I sin just like the next person,but i believe God is WHO He says He is and I AM WHO HE SAYS I AM.  When those lies come in from Satan, I fast and pray asking for TRUTH in revelation as to the why.  The more you do it, the faster you can see your "whys."  

There's two things God can't do!

He can't lie! 

He can't abandon you!

When Daniela learned that she couldn't keep God first by obsessing about her mom's murder, she was so taken back.  She knew she thought about it all the time and it was center of her existence.  It is the turning point of her life and the trajectory FOREVER changed.  She had good reason to hold tightly.

Do you have one of those days in your life you can't let go of?

I told her she could keep those thoughts of death, blood, fear, insecurity, abandonment, worthlessness, orphaned...many are true and real.  

But you will never keep God in first place if you tightly hold onto what happened to you.  These thoughts become number one allegiance.  You are loyal to keeping them.  There is no peace in those evil things.  Only destruction of your mind and life.  

Dying to ourself means dying to revenge and justice.  You have the choice to choose healing completely with Christ or you can choose to walk the path of lies thinking that you couldn't have done better, changed the outcome, pin this to Dad for life thinking that that punishes him somehow (when it only punishes Daniela.  That's a great lie of the devil.  Punishing people with their own minds!!)

We must accept Truth.  We must have faith in the Healer.

My Bible study is studying some of these common women sins this week.  We are committing to not allow them for ourselves so we can be used by God to the fullest and to produce healthy families.

Contact me if you want some counsel on these things. 

Fasting and Praying

Fasting and praying has been something I have been teaching my girls about from the day they both decided to follow Jesus.  We always let God lead us in when, how long, what to fast, and how much to fast.  It's something He leads us to do when we are deep in sin and need help.  It's something He leads us to do for others, their sin or suffering.  We do it for friends that we see need rescue.   It's a time to focus only on Jesus.  We go into the trenches and fight for our lives, literally.  We deny ourselves and fight in the heavenly realm for those that cannot fight.  Esther called for the multitude to fast before she went to the king.  Jesus said some spirits must be casted out with prayer and fasting.   Nehemiah fasted about what he saw before him and the wall.  People fasted in the Bible before making decisions, for victory, to repent of sins committed--ultimately to seek the Lord's will and turn back to their First Love.

If you know Daniela, she loves food.  LOVES.  Fasting food usually isn't her go to.  She usually will fast soccer, phone, or movies.  Last week she started a fast of food.  When I got home from work and she wasn't eating dinner, I quickly turned around asking what sin was going on.  One of my spiritual gifts is faith.  I believe in moving mountains, and if she's in trouble, I'm going into a fast with her immediately.    God is more powerful than anything against us in this world.  We have many promises in Him and I claim them fully.

Instead of sin she said, Eva.

Eva is a common name in this house.  She has been the classroom gang leader.  She has a group of girls and they have to do as she says.  Once you are in, you are locked down to do what is instructed.  There are many of these groups lurking around Daniela.  Maybe you can't talk to certain girls (Daniela).  You have to be mean to certain ones (Daniela).  You have to keep a boyfriend.  Some groups you have to be having sex.  When one of your group is in a fight, everyone must jump in.

Daniela isn't in any of these mean girl groups, so they tend to target her.  Since she has been growing in the Lord, she has been turning her cheek more and not fighting.  She allows people to say things to her without popping off at the mouth (I know she still does, but not every time).

When D felt she should fast for this girl.  Her immediate thought was no way.  Not this girl.  But she knew she heard God.  This girl hates Daniela and we knew her back story was trauma. From the beginning, I was baffled how this girl could hate Daniela.  They both had the same trauma story of Dad killing mom. But the devil loved for them to have hate and not come together in helping one another.

After a day, I thought D should probably come out of the fast.  She's still young (14) and I had perimeters in my mind about her doing it.  So when day 2 started, I reminded her that she shouldn't mess around with fasting and only let God lead.  When she felt led to eat, she would.  It included nuts, little chips and little carrots.  By the second day, she had revelation that this was for Eva's life, but also for Daniela's heart to her.  She had come to have little to no compassion for her and didn't want to be a part of her rescue.  As she surrendered that, she felt led to eat on day 3 like normal.

Monday  came and D told Eva she was praying for her and she responded I don't need your prayers.  She calmly said ok and walked away.  Later that day, Eva was crying on the floor and D asked what was going on.  She told D there were a lot of problems at home. She lives with her aunt.  She asked if D remembered about her mom and she thought D forgot about it.  No one can forget that.  She went into details about her mom and life.

Can I pray for you?  Eva said sure.  She prayed outloud about how she thinks Eva blames herself for her mom's murder.  How she doesn't have to be mean because she has suffering inside.

She just let God speak and prayed.  Eva thanked her for praying, she apologized for always being so mean to Daniela.

She's been slowly telling D everything about her traumatic life, this past week.  She told her director Daniela is like her sister, she feels pulled to talk to her about her issues.

When Daniela came home and told me about this breakthrough,  I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!  Daniela fasted and prayed for 2 days for this girl and BOOM!  Deliverance.  Wow.


CHANGE TO ANOTHER STORY AT SCHOOL
Another mean girl group targeted Daniela this week.  D got punched in the back the other day, but ignored them.  Later in the day, the group came to her class "looking for her" like a pack of wolves.  The teacher sent them away, but the next day they tracked down her schedule and waited for her in the stairwell when they knew she was going to get her bag.  With no one around,  she got punched in the nose by Elle, while a group held her down.  She struggled to get a punch in and landed one in the jaw and pulled out way too much hair.

EVA comes up the stairs and BITES one of the girls in the neck! Trying to help Daniela!  Ripping girls off her.

That ended with the office and in school suspension with work detail of painting Friday.

Elle told Daniela she was shocked Eva helped D because everyone knew Eva hated Daniela.

When they got to soccer, Coach asked if they can practice together.  Elle asked if she could talk to D.  She ended up apologizing to Daniela.  Telling her she took out her bad life on her and she went into the dirty secrets of her home life.   She said it wasn't an excuse for targeting Daniela, but it was her reason.

They know Daniela's Christian now and they know she doesn't fight anymore.  So, she is an easy target to harass and bully, and know she is going to to take it.  Daniela was known before as being a beast.  AND SHE IS.  That beast came flying out in the stairwell.

Daniela kept crying to me and was so angry she was going to get a punishment for fighting.  She has not had a suspension in a full year trying to get into the other school Jess goes to.  I told her let it go.  I don't care about her consequence, just pray what God wants to do and let the consequence go for defending your body.  They decided to suspend both and my Spirit said let it be.  So i left it alone and didn't go into how they premeditated this jump.  Her principal called and said they would paint and talk.  Luke told me he loved this "outside the box" punishment and the more I thought about it, I could totally agree!

They talked and told stories of their deep secret lives and then D prayed over her.  She felt led to pray for a changed heart and how God has sent Daniela to help Elle walk though her trauma.  Elle should cast her burdens on God because His yoke is easy.  She carried on lifting her up to the Lord.

(I cry as I type this!  This is my kid??  The one that ran away from home and hated me.  The one that was so dark at one time, she scared me in my house.  The one that hated the Bible and could careless about God during her crazy phase.  The one that made me cry and cry at night about because I felt like she ruined my joyful, happy life.  This kid brings me so much joy now.  I think of her during the day at work and my eyes fill with tears about who she is in God).

Elle is on her way to our house now to walk with D to soccer.  They are friends now.

I sat on my couch with D before she left for work detail yesterday and prayed the mightiest prayers for Daniela to be used by God, and sent her off to school.  I sat on the couch talking with God and then I saw the path come full circle.  We have prayed so much to get into the "other school."  I have been so over this abuse to D mentally and physically by these girls, but D told me this year, Mom, God has me at my school for a purpose.  I have to keep going there.

Here's the purpose.  Daniela has been going after these giants.  She is definitely the one for GOD TO USE.  She has it within, to withstand, in the power of Christ. These deeply broken girls abusing other girls because they have been abused and God is sending a rescue with Daniela.  AHH!  We welcome this suffering in D because it means these girls are learning about Christ and His path for them that is not pain and trauma, but VICTORY AND HEALING.

Are you praying and fasting for deliverance in your life?  In your kid's life?  In your neighbor's life?

Seeking the Lord

Quick post...

I have a laundry list of things that I hear the Lord speaking to me about, but no full circles.  I decided to fast today and see if I can close some of these revelations.  Dani and Jess came up for lunch.  I casually said I wasn't eating.  D asked if I was praying for our dump truck purchase situation with ministry.  I said yeah...among a list of other things I'm talking to God about.

What are you praying about, Mom?

Well, I think God revealed another spiritual gift of yours, D.  I want to really seek Him on that before I talk to you about it.  

What?  Seriously?  I had a thought about this, too!  I felt like something is missing and wondered why?  I thought maybe I had another gift I don't know about yet!!

So cool to hear that, D.  I'm also praying about my husband that is coming.

Mom!  I WAS JUST PRAYING DOWNSTAIRS about him!  Ok.  I'm in.  I want to know this new gift I have.  

She got up from eating on couch as I folded clothes.  I realized it and thought she was getting more food.  She was in her room, instead.

Hey, don't throw that food out!

I didn't! 

Well, how did you eat that that fast!?

I didn't, I put it back.  I'm fasting!


You may not know D very well, but to jump into a fast with pasta in her lap is ONLY OF GOD.  She loves food more than Tio loves food.  And she RARELY does a food fast because she loves it so much.  It's mentally difficult for anyone to jump into a fast at meal time, let alone her.

I know I am constantly raving about her, but she just amazes me.  She makes my heart full and my eyes well up.  Can you imagine what our churches would look like if our believers would fast and seek His face in petition, prayer, and revelation for spiritual gifts?  

Daniela's 4th Anniversary!

A whisper in the night woke me up to surrendering a call to take-in Daniela.

Tears and wrestling with the Lord all night turned into a yes, Your desire and will, not mine.  I finalized it with her sister on a Friday and Monday I picked her up.  She had nothing packed to bring.  Her neighbor even asked for her shoes back because they were borrowed. We both were a little shocked. 

Life was horrible in the beginning but I clung to the fact that God led me to the girls and anything else would be disobedient.  I don't even know how I lived without them now.

I sit with D often asking her to tell me her thoughts.  I want to hear the things the devil is saying to counter act what is real and what isn't real.  There are lots of secrets around her life that I am slowly releasing as she gets older, too.  I'm against telling her a story when she is 18 or 30.  Knowing the truth helps her to understand and process it all now.

She told me a few weeks ago, “I didn’t think I was ever going to be loved again. My Mom was gone, my Dad wanted to kill me, and my (older) sisters didn’t love me. No one loved me after my Mom died. I wasn’t even allowed to cry about my Mom. I would have to hide in the bathroom to cry. Then, I moved here.”

The devil’s lies run deep. I’m thankful for Jesus whom sets us free and replaces lies with TRUTH. A miracle took place the day mom died.

A miracle. 

2 little girls were kept from harm from a demon-possessed man screaming, “I killed your mom and I’m going to kill you.” 

But Jesus never allowed it to happen. 

Dad never found them even though they were feet away and Jessica had been hysterical in screams. Yet, Dad could not hear it? I do not know.  I just know Jesus said no.  They were saved from death.  The lion not only didn't kill them, it did not even scratch them (Daniel 6).  Daniela's name is derived from the name Daniel, "God is my judge."  Jessica means God beholds, or God sees. 

Indeed.

This is Love...From a Savior. 

2 years later the Holy Spirit would have me pray a very specific prayer over my kids to a Jehovah Witness claiming my girls as His kids and that will be in His Kingdom.  Then, months later they were both Saved from this earthly life and died with Him, to Live with Him (2 Tim).

D said she hid Jessica and ran back into the house to help Mom.  To see what she could do.  She was 9.  She stood frozen-- like we have in dreams when you can't move, as she watched Dad swing a hammer at Mom's body.  She said Dad was emotionless.  No crying and no anger, just swinging and swinging like a robot.  He looked up at her.  Looked at Mom, then turned to Daniela slowly walking towards her.  Finally the frozen body effect melted, and she ran out of the house screaming and the neighbor teens came out running to help.  Dad ran for the hills.

BUT. 

The real Father ran in. Jehovah Rapha. The One that heals. The One that is capable of erasing all of this horror and replacing it because He is Jehovah Shalom.  I asked D to tell me about her thoughts the other day.  Tell me what the devil is saying...her response was nothing to do with her mom and dad and the trauma. It was an everyday kid thing about getting along with her cousin.  Inside I cried the happiest of tears driving and looking out the window-- pacing my breathing to not allow tears to fall out of my eyes.  Really?? 

Happy 4 years, mija!  In a few more days, we would talk the other older sister into letting me have Jessi.

mom

Look at chubby Jessi in yellow, D is far left leaning in

with older sister and cousin

All these are photos of the girls before they moved in.

my favorite photo of Daniela

Mom's sisters and a cousin

Sister with my girls

Jessica's salvation prayer caught on camera!  Thought she was so cute praying.  Little did I know it was Salvation!

Daniela's baptism

Jessica's baptism, she was held under longer :)

brother's baptism

Grandpa O <3

Uses a peeler to peel an ORANGE

She is so tiny at 4!

Mom's 4 youngest <3

Pedicures before NY trip

Cousin Ethan

It's been the best journey of my life!  

Jesus' Love to Me

Taken on my walk tonight.  I couldn't see how the picture came out because of the sun until I got home.

I spent my evening reading Joshua and asking the Lord to show me what His love for me is like...in relating it to how I love others like He does to me. <3

To death, that which goes down to bring up

Quiet and powerful FIGHT

Love with no parameters, abounding

Eternal, not just present

Endured pain to release pain

Knows past, present, and future sins against Him and still said, "I want to be with you."

Constant, without fail- STANDS

Mighty

Too Long Gone!

Guys. I know.  It's been way too long.  My old blog is held up in blog limbo and I have no idea how to recover it. I really want to recover it to have my old stories of the miraculous things the Lord has done in my life.  When I started to blog, I stopped journaling!  ::tears::

Let's start new.  Let's start over with a sweet, sweet story about Jesus and His precious daughter named Jessica.

Jessica has been in her room for two days, mas o menos.  She gives me a headache.  Usually a heartache, too.  Tonight, she finally wants to repent and turn it all around.  As I prayed for the Holy Spirit to reveal to me what to say, I spoke to her.  The Lord reminded me how I read in Revelations, earlier this afternoon, that He is the Root.  I spoke to her about how He must be her root.  We spoke about how in order to produce fruit, she must be connected to Him.  Without Him, she dies.  Without Him, she fails.  Without Him, the tree falls over and cannot withstand ANYTHING.  We need His living water!

We finished chatting on the porch as the sweet wind blew on this gorgeous day.  As we cooked dinner, iTunes was on shuffle.  For Your Splendor by Christy Nockels came on and I just started to cry.  Jessica, LISTEN!! This is from JESUS to you!

His love is truly intoxicating.

I'm so concerned with what I look like from the outside

Will I blossom into what You hope I'll be

Yet You're so patient just to help me see

The blooms come from a deeper seed that You planted in me

Sometimes it's hard to grow when everybody's watching

To have your heart pruned by the one who knows best

And though I'm bare and cold I know my season's coming

And I'll spring up in Your endless faithfulness

With my roots deep in You I'll grow the branch that bears the fruit

And though I'm small, I'll still be standing in the storm

'Cause I am planted by the river by Your streams of living water

And I'll grow up strong and beautiful, all for Your splendor, Lord

So with my arms stretched out, I'm swaying to Your heartbeat

I'm growing with the sound of Your voice calling

You're bringing out the beauty that You have put in me

For Your joy and for Your glory falling