Corona Virus in the Dominican Republic

Corona Virus in the Dominican Republic

·     We are in a State of Emergency

·     172 cases in a country of about 11 million (taken from a FB group)

·     Activities are suspended for the next 25 days

·     Curfew strictly imposed from 8PM-6AM

·     Schools are closed

·     Gyms are closed

·     Places that are open:  supermarket, small grocery stores, fuel stations, pharmacies and commercial establishments dedicated to the sale of raw or cooked food

·     Restaurants are closed, but you can call for takeout or delivery

·     Most small corner stores are open

·     Banks are open

·     Airport have closed the boarders, you can’t fly in unless you are a resident

·     Foreigners can fly home, but flights are scare and some are being cancelled 

·     People are posting in groups they can’t find flights out

For the most part, it is quiet in the mountains of Jarabacoa. A siren will sound at 8PM to go home and stay there.  I rarely go out at night after dark anyway because the rate of a drunk driver hitting you skyrockets.  My car is still a mess from a motorcycle plowing through an intersection a few weeks ago.  I hear police are stopping work vehicles during the day telling them they aren’t to be working.  I have heard that the police are sweeping the streets and arresting people that are out after 8PM, if you aren’t medical personnel.  The curfew just started last night, I think.

The supermarket is not out of items, people are not stocking up obsessively.  My family went grocery shopping, but honestly, having a large property with food growing rapidly, food isn’t a concern for me. 

About 10 missionaries have left; some with health concerns, family sick in USA, and others wanting to leave before they are stuck here. Leaving is never an option for me, so it never crosses my mind.  We all must pray and be confident in what He asks.  Many times in the Bible people are asked to do things that everyone around them would say DON’T DO, but God commands them to do it.  Just listen to the Holy Spirit and you will be confident. Be an Abraham.

School is closed and the girls are doing homeschooling. The country does not recognize home-schooling outside of this pandemic.  Daniela is doing it all online and Jess has packets to accomplish.  We are doing fine.  Math might kill Jess and I both.

On another note, I love being a stay-at-home mom.  I’ve been working from home for months now on FIGHT things. I help with construction when Luke asks and facilitate teams when they are here.  Everything is shut down, so it’s a very SLOW PACE right now. It is so relaxing to do laundry and clean without running around to accomplish other things. I am loving finding new recipes and cooking YUMMY lunches and dinners for my kids.  Sometimes when you are so busy, you throw whatever on the table. Lunches are fast like sandwiches and you don’t really care, but when you have time, it all changes!  I’m loving making things from scratch.  Daniela is vegan. She quit meat first, but then she’s been throwing up for 2 weeks, so we cut dairy, too.  We have all her tests back, but her Endo isn’t seeing patients. She thought lactose intolerance and stomach ulcers.  She sadly said that all the gastro issues Dani has is reflective of growing up poor, “in the barrio.”  She said corner store (colmado) eating is killing the populations' digestive tracks. She said, “Never eat SALAMI.”  I said, “STOP! Let me record this!” Everyone eats that in the DR.  She is Dominican and I’ve never heard that before.  We don’t eat it because it is poorly refrigerated.  She said all the meats at the colmado are infested with bacteria and parasites--most diseases are colmado related.  Anyway, Daniela’s loving things like dairy free pesto sauce, vegan hotdogs, black bean burgers, vegetable fritters, veggie burritos, and more!

What else is going on?  It’s been raining, too. I LOVE THE RAIN.  I know a lot of people become depressed…that’s not me. I find such joy and peace in the rain. It feels so spiritual to me, honestly. I always think of it as God kissing me with each drop.  I never hesitate to walk in the rain. I had been in a line to leave church last week, then realized it wasn’t a line to leave!  They were all waiting.  I don’t know if Dominicans are scare of getting sick, getting wet, or ruining their hair. Someone yelled to me…”NOOOOO, don’t go! Your hair!!”  My kids used to cower at the rain before, they could careless now after learning from me.  Be thankful for the rain!  <3

Anyway, life is good.  No complaints here.  I don’t usually suffer from anxiety, so I haven’t had any anxious thoughts.  I will abide by the statutes the government put into place. We haven’t left home in 2 days, only to go for a walk with friends yesterday.  I have taken requests to God on the daily asking God to keep Corona out of my house.  What He chooses to permit is fine with me.  

Use this time to pray, fast, seek, and read.  Don’t complain about having time to RELAX.  Take out a book and read!  Cook some good, healthy thought out meals and let the kids help.  Put huge time limits on kid movies and they will read more books!

Thank God for what you have been given and repent of the anxiety that says He isn’t in control—because HE IS.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xiu6hbz0iDk&feature=youtu.be

Death had a stronghold, but Your life was stronger

Rose from the grave, rose up from the grave, yeah

When evil is rising, You're rising higher

With power to save, with power to save, 

There's hope in the morning 

There's hope in the evening 

There's hope because You're living 

There's hope because You're breathing

There's hope in the breaking 

There's hope in the sorrow

Hope for this moment 

My hope for tomorrow 

If you are Christian, I encourage you to go through Exodus this week. Can you imagine seeing all water turned to blood?  And, I encourage you to be different than the world and not panic with anxiety and fear.  Be a light.

New Home

Our landlord asked us to move at the end of April.  He wants to redo plumbing and leaks in other places.

He said I could have 4-8 weeks to find something.  As June dwindled down, I still couldn't find anything.  I sought after 4 realtors to help and was shocked, none of them had but 1 house each, some not having any to show.  You can hire a realtor here to find a house to rent.  They usually make a month's rent.  It's a last resort because there were no houses showing "for rent" signs.

Right now, I am living in a house that has another house below.  I moved into this house after I left the school.  The landlord was older and grumpy, much like my dad.  I liked him. We got along just great, even though other tenants didn't like him as much.  My friend, at the time, helped negotiate and we got him to rent it to my for around $100.  I was single and wouldn't use the other rooms. That price is ridiculously cheap!

BUT GOD, right?

He soon died.  Then, my girls came to me.  The landlord's family lived in the States and monthly, I just paid a lawyer.  Luke took care of my house issues and I don't talk to anyone much.  It's been a sweet blessing in many ways (in other ways a headache), but now it's time to go.

So it is time to move.

The girls and I would drive around and around.  As June ended, I kept thinking I will just choose anything and get out of my house.  Then, my landlord texted asking if I got a place.  I told him no and he said I could take a little more time.  He said workers were coming, but I shouldn't fret.  They never came and I kept looking. I started to ask, God, "hey, um, what are You doing? Don't you have to provide housing for me?  Doesn't Your Word say to not worry about my life and what I will eat and drink? (Matthew 6)  So, why do I not have a home?  Shouldn't we honor this guy's request to move out by the end of June?

I would pray those prayers out loud with the kids in the car and to myself.  Just being a bit confused.  I found a few places but the rent was high for the area or for the quality.  Most places, it doesn't seem to matter if its a house or apartment here for the price are $260-$360 for places to live. As you can see, my house was nuts at that price and I gave up finding something in that very low range.  The homes I was finding in the lower range didn't have the back up water tank on the roof.  That's the water you use when the power goes off.  If you don't have it, you don't have water.  We are not above that, but I'm a for-lifer here.  There's no reason at that price to not have a water tank, so those options were out for me.

I kept telling God, I want the GOD STORY. I want to glorify Your name and tell the STORY.  If I just find an apartment and move, there's no story. Don't let me move on something, God, unless You do it! I'll move to whatever place You want, as long as You make it CLEAR that You chose it.

Waiting was so hard. I wanted to move. I packed early June!  I thought, surely I'll out in June.

The other day the kids and I drive around this neighborhood I DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED until recently.  We had been there 4 times already, driving around! It's a very nice and quiet neighborhood. Big houses. Every time I drove in there, I thought, I gotta get my truck washed to drive around here!

A man was pruning his very nice yard.  I  pulled up and asked if he knew of any homes for rent.  He said, "no, sorry, I can't help you."  Meanwhile, his wife hears us from far off and comes walking, "YES!"

She tells me to go two doors down, they have a sister that has a home for rent.  I pulled up and no one was coming out.  The lady from before saw me and walked over, I'll go talk to them for you.

The lady comes out and says ok.  I said, "uh, I'll follow you." She said, "no, we are walking. It's across the street."

WHAT? HERE? IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?

I snapped this because as we walked, I thought, Lord, is this it?  Is this really it?  I wanted to remember walking down to my new house.

As we entered I was floored.  I thought, "We can't afford this.  Is this yard real?!"  She asked how many people, I said just me and the girls.  As we went up the stairs, she said it's 3 bedrooms. I thought this is it.  As we went in, the girls were choosing bedrooms and placing furniture in their minds.  We walked and talked and I prayed she would say 15000RD pesos, that's about 300.  This house should be like 20-25000RD for the neighborhood and kind of houses.  She said 15.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn't talk.  I told her that was a bit high on my list for a house, but maybe she could ask her sister to do 14, 000RD.  I told her I would pray as tears were trying to escape out and I'd be back with my brother to look at the electricity.  My current house is weak and I can't use my new oven or vacuum.  (Jeff, don't worry, soon I'll be able to use the oven part!!)

Luke's whole family piled in and came down yesterday and the power is a tad lower than Luke wanted it, but will be fine.  We negotiated on $14,500RD. It has so many fruit trees!!  Guanabana,  mango, limes, bananas, coconut,  and avocados. JACKPOT.

I was telling Luke that I always liked the iron door on my other houses, made me feel really secure.  I wished I had one at the new house.  Phyllis, NO ONE is breaking into this neighborhood.  Ok, true.  It also has video cameras downstairs and Luke said we can do a camera upstairs at my front door.  He can get these at a fair price on amazon for like $30.

I had one thing on the table for the Lord.  Give us a safe place to live with water and in a price range that we can sustain.  I'm a very simple person, doesn't take much to please me with material things.

THIS IS ABUNDANTLY MORE THAN I ASKED.

I'm moving in a few minutes and STILL can't believe I get to live here.  Oh, and the kids can walk to and from school!  That was on my list of requirements, too.

But, Wait. I’m The One That Comforts Her.

**The last photos are graphic.

When D was in the hospital last week for splitting her head open on a volleyball net post that was cemented to the ground, she had forgot several years of her life.  Part of that amnesia included living with me.  When the school called at 9:45am, they were just notifying me that she may need stitches and I might want to meet her at the hospital. Sometimes people go down the mountain to handle emergencies because they say it’s a better hospital.  Being that it was her face cut open, they wanted to give me the option of where she would be sewn up at to do the least amount of scaring. Nonchalantly, I got dressed and met her there.

I walked into emergency and saw a teacher and asked where she was.  He pointed to a room and I bopped in there smiling.  Talking fast like I usually do and rubbing her leg and thigh (we are a touchy family) in comfort, I was asking what happened, how you feeling, how did this happen, etc.  She returned my touch with moving her bottom to the wall on her gurney as if a victim is on all fours with their butt on the ground acts as someone stands over them with a bat or knife!  Her eyes instantly made me tear up.  She looked as if she was having PTSD of her mom.  I thought maybe she was having flashbacks of being in the public hospital after her mom died.  She didn’t sleep for 3 days straight.  She was wide awake in shock and fear having a massive breakdown and they brought her to the hospital where they knocked her out to rest.  I thought all the blood reminded her of holding her mom as she died. Her eyes scared me. 

She turned to her friend asking in Spanish who I was and why was I touching her. Uhh, what?  Who?  Who is she talking about?

I had no idea there was brain trauma.  Umm, me? Is she talking about me? Yes.  

Wow.  I didn’t even try to say, Hey, I’m your Mom.

She was panicking and we decided I would wait outside.   Wait, she thinks I would cause her harm? I was mind blown.

(I’ll find out later she was never experiencing PTSD-- no flashbacks happened.  She said, “Mom, I thought all that would make me freak out about my Mom and it didn’t.”  I REALLY was ME causing the anxiety being the stranger.

But, wait. I’m the one that comforts her.

Then, it was time to go into the surgery room to sew up her head and I couldn’t go in there either.  When she came out, she was in a gown and I was so mad/sad that she changed without me!!  That’s my kid and she doesn’t take clothes off without me!  

The nurse wanted to give her a shot in the bottom for tetanus and Dani asked Luke and I to go out. What?  That’s my butt in there.  Sigh.   She’s too young to be in there alone.  There’s no one to comfort her and to walk with her through all this.

To Daniela, we were the Americans that put on a VBS sports camp years ago right before she moved in. She confirmed to me later that she was just waiting for SOMEONE to come to her in the hospital.  Anyone but these creepy Americans that are in her room.  

We had to transfer her to another medic place to do the brain scan.  I asked her if we were making her anxious, she said yes.  As she was about to go into the scan machine, I started to cry as I took her hair out of a ponytail.  She was able to understand all English, but only reply in Spanish.  She looked at me and said, Are you crying? Why are you crying?  I didn’t even answer, just quickly wiped tears as I tried to get her stupid hair tie out of her ridiculously thick, curly hair. She said, “Hey, stop crying. You don’t need to cry, everything is fine.  Stop crying, ok?”

I kept finding myself on the brink of tears!  Repeatedly saying to myself, but I’m the one that comforts her! How can I be causing the panic?

Later she started calling me mama and not knowing why, then apologizing for calling me that.  So what’s your name? I forgot.  

I couldn’t help but feel such empathy for her.  Being a 15 year old little girl in the hospital alone and waiting for help to come.

***By 3 in the afternoon, she had laid her head to rest for a moment and woke up calling me Mama.  This time FOR REAL.  

Brother David came to visit.

Eating the next morning and no issues swallowing

You bring your own blankets, pillows, shower stuff, towels, etc

We prayed for a new upgraded room with air and got it!  Even had a fridge and better wifi!

We are out of there the next day at 11:45am!

This is the real reason for this blog and I left out A LOT OF details about the rest.  Daniela wrote a blog and she might hit them, but this is the most important…

I think it was the next day we got back home, I woke up to read, like usual, as the sun was barely coming up.  As I was reading in Genesis, I heard God tell me…I AM the Comforter.  

Even in typing that tonight, my eyes well up.  I repented immediately.  Who do I think I am!?  Geesh. I spent all day freaking out that I wasn’t able to comfort her.  Although I prayed for her, did I once ask God to comfort her?  No.  Not once did I ask Him to do what HE DOES.  I was too busy silently crying for her because she was scared and I couldn’t be the one to soothe her fears.  A lot of people commented that it must be so sad for me to have done so much for her the last 5 years and that wasn’t remembered. Or just to be a Mom that isn’t remembered, but honestly, none of that even crossed my mind.  We would work though the memory stuff.  My heartache was her loneliness--  a little girl at the hospital without any loving faces that she knows and can give her rest.

Luke had already prayed by himself for her to have memory back and she instantly remembered him baptizing her.  Praises to Him for that memory! She was still puzzled as to why he baptized her.  He asked her if she was praying through this, she said no.  She told me later her memory was saying she wasn’t Saved.  I do not even understand that.  My thought was well, she doesn’t know Jesus right now, so He can’t do anything for her right now.  

This was not true.

I do not want to experience any of that ever again, but I am so thankful to go through that trial that spoke so loudly to me that I DO NOT COMFORT her, HE DOES.  I need to lift her up to Him to take care of His kid.  She is His before she is MINE.  

All along, she was never alone.  Man, that just makes me cry.  People always comment how I am so Jesus focused and yet, here I was trying to wear pants that do not belong to me.  With the best MOM intentions around, not in a prideful manner—or so I thought.  But, really, it is.  It’s a scary place to try to take over titles that aren’t ours.   I never want to replace Him as number 1 because I am going to die one day.  There are going to come days in their lives when they are truly alone physically and I will not be there to lean on…

BUT HIM.  

He will always be there.  He promises to NEVER leave us and never FORSAKE us. 

Never. 

Altagracia Daniela

Last week, Jessica was in trouble for something and in classic Jessica style she threw out sins of Daniela--telling me she had Facebook on her phone.  When I checked, there was no Facebook.  She had lied...but I did see a game on it that was gray.  When I touched it, it disappeared, oddly.  Long story short, Dani has Jessica's phone because Dani's smashed.  Jessica has a parental setting on her phone to not be able to download apps over 9yo.  Evidently, I never set Daniela's old phone like this, but it didn't matter to me because all downloads are sent to my phone for parental approval code.

Well, Dani memorized my code and used it to download a game that you can talk to friends within the game.  She had it on her own phone and I had no clue.  I DON'T RANDOMLY check apps bc I MUST approve them.  I do read her text messages here and there to the 2 friends she is allowed to talk to on imsg.  I'm not a bad parent in this phone area.  Now, other areas, maybe so.  So the app was gray because although she used my passcode to download it, she didn't know there was a block on older kids' apps--so she couldn't access it from Jessica's phone she is using now.  She doesn't know how to get into the kids' screen time and change those things, yet.

I love that Daniela is few and far between discipline issues that yes, she has a punishment but it doesn't bother me as much because I know she is in a process of learning and choosing to follow God or not.

We attended a local English church this week as we have mission teams coming and going with a local organization.  They were taking communion at the end, so as a song played I had both kids come to my row to talk.  They sat behind me and I sat with friends I went with.  I explained how communion is super important and to NOT take it if you have any sin that is not repented of--

1 Corin 11:

27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and [e]blood of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks [f]in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the [g]Lord’s body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many [h]sleep. 

I quickly discussed that taking the bread and juice in an unworthy manner has caused some to be sick or even die.  Repent of whatever you got before you do it, and if you can't right now, just don't take it.  As I went to take it, both kids sat down.  As I walked to get mine, I got a little choked up that they were taking this so serious.  High-fiving Jesus on my way to my cup as I held tears in.  

Even before I ever came to Jesus, when I visited Catholic churches, I refused to take communion when people said, "just get in line." I had no idea what it really meant and I was not willing to put that in my body out of our respect for what it meant.  Isn't that crazy?  I think so, too, but something in me said DO NOT DO THAT flippantly.  

I still remember the first time I took communion.  I TOTALLY understood it and CRIED like a baby at the beauty of it.  I totally understood what I was doing and man, was I thankful for what Jesus Christ did for me on that Cross.

As Daniela headed to get hers, tears were flowing from her eyes after repenting of something.  She told me later she didn't want to forgive Jessica for telling on her about the phone.  Jessica sat down because she didn't want to ask for prayers in her prayer group that morning. In church, we got in groups to pray. She felt like she should ask for prayers for mine and hers relationship but stayed quiet because she doesn't want people to know she sins.  I had gone with another and deserted my kids because I had a vision that morning of praying with the CMA girls and holy moly, we are group praying. Daniela figured out her own life and joined a group with Jessica.  I love her lack of dependance on me!

So Sunday night, D couldn't sleep that night.  She woke up around 3 am after a bad God dream about demons and drowning.  She woke up without air, like she was really drowning.  She felt like she should read and God showed her how she had sinned and then hid it like Achan.  She has my old Bible and a notecard fell out of it when she picked it up to read.  It was notes from Joshua 7, and she felt led to go there.  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Joshua+7&version=NKJV

When she got to the stole and hid part, it hit her heart.  She felt his conviction when she used my password, but hid it and went on trying to conceal it happened.  When I crawled into bed with her in the morning to talk because Jess asked if I knew she was up last night reading at like 3, tears flowed down her eyes to her ears staring at the ceiling.  I'm fasting today, Mom.  Why would I hear Him and ignore it!?  Why would I choose to hid something like this!?  She was so distraught about it.  I was mentally jumping up and down at this!  Yes! Yes!  Stay here, D!  I told her that repentance means starting over.  God erases this.  Devil tells us to feel guilt and live there wanting/needing more punishment. Get up and get working for God again.

She told me this morning, God convicted her to read in the mornings, not to do only night readings.  She says morning comes and she doesn't remember what she read and it doesn't stay on her mind for the day, but if she reads in the morning, she thinks about that.

If You Worry, You Care

Our mind is a war zone.

The thoughts we allow in give birth to life or to death.

Truth or lies.

Romans 8:6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Satan wants to steal, kill, destroy.

Jesus wants to give life freely, deliver life abundantly, and root in you to build His Kingdom.

When we walk in sin, we are brainwashed by the devil down a path designed for stealing, killing, destroying.  

When we take sins like anxiety, fear, and insecurity and normalize them to be "common," we open the gate saying, "everyone, this is ok."  

That's a lie.

Did you know that the most repeated command of the Bible is to...not worry.  

It only makes sense to me that the devil would put a lie against this and pin it to the chests of women everywhere that we must worry.  We literally boast about breaking this command of the Lord.  It is a badge of honor. You're not a good mother if you don't worry about your family.  We are even told to never stop worrying about them.  Continue to worry for all their years into adulthood.  Worry about everyone and everything around you and try to control outcomes, so that your biggest fears never come true.

If you worry, you care.

Is that the truth?  Have we really built our family and relationships on the teachings of...Satan?

We can easily see it steal our sleep, kill quiet time with family that then needs to be used for discussing the obsessions that are causing fights in the family about thoughts and things that aren't even real.  All anxiety does is destroy ALL relationships.  Expectations can't be met of the person that needs so much to happen in order for the fears to not take place.  Peace is destroyed. A mind of anxiety, worry, fear, depression, etc is not a mind of peace.

Why do we teach our daughters to become women like this?

But guess what?  This is totally normal!

If you do not have the HOPE of Christ, you should definitely feel freaked out and not sleep well.  Your mind should be filled with daily obsessions of your worst fears that can come true.  You will not be experiencing peace.  Remember the Spirit is life and peace.  You must walk with Jesus to experience that.  Anxiety will never bring you peace, only Jesus can, and Jesus is never worrying about what is going to happen with your life, or your kids life, or your friends, or your husband.  So nor should you following Him.

An article I read said most people with anxiety/insecurity have depression.  Of course they do.  There's no peace.  It's living in darkness and that is scary. Constantly worrying causes hormones to be released and brain systems to be on HIGH alert often. It literally becomes your body's way of coping. Extra hormones are being pumped to deal with it and the system doesn't work well processing these extra hormones.

Our lives have been cheapened with Satan's lies.  We should have an abundant life.  We should be slaves to righteousness, not to sin.  We should be holy, perfect, and blameless.  Instead Christians are depressed and obsessed.

So why do we partner with Satan?

Why don't we renew our minds and take thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ?  Then we can actually be the mothers, wives, and friends God calls us to be by...PRAYING.  There is no sacrificial love going on with anxiety.  It produces nothing but destruction in division, jealousy, envy, fear, unforgiveness, etc. You can't be led by God and at the same time have anxiety.  So then we must admit, we aren't putting these things in God's hands. The One person to change things isn't being asked to change anything.  We have the answer but aren't using it. Remember, He is peace.  You can't choose both and say you're Godly... choosing to be in control and NOT ALLOWING Christ to have control.  It's prideful to think you can control things.

You must admit you can handle the world better than Him.  

We must admit that you keeping wrongs of everything in the past and holding it against people in the future is the best way to handle life.  We use past events to determine how the future will be, in anxiety.  So if you obsess about what could happen based on what you have seen happen to you and others, then you can figure out how not to let it happen.  

Scary part is that you have no control.  It's a lie, so it just cycles with no end! Lies don't have ends.  New lies come about and then you try to control that one that related to the last lie. Satan is the ruler of this world, so he is controlling you.  That's why all you feel is defeat from it stealing your joy, killing your potential, stealing your childhood, stealing your parents in divorce, killing your dad in addiction, ruining your mom in screaming and yelling for control over everyone.  Break the family unit one person at a time.

TRUTH has an end.  It NEVER CHANGES.  

Why do we filter our minds with trash? Pornography, adultery, sex outside of marriage, mental illness, food obsessions to cope with trauma issues, body obsessions, etc. 

Why do we allow these things to satisfy us but yet they never do?

I think we don't believe God can satisfy our every need.  We lack faith in Who He is.  

Acts 16:22-34 New International Version (NIV)

22 The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. 23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. 24 When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. 27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. 28 But Paul shouted, “Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!”

After being severely beaten to a bloody pulp, Paul and Silas sing.  Shouldn't these guys have anxiety and fear about death?  They have good reason! This isn't something fake Satan put in their minds, like us on the daily basis...this is real life violence that put them in death's path.  

Jesus yells from the Cross, "Forgive them!"  Immediately Jesus is forgiving them after spitting in His face.  I cannot even type that without my eyes welling up with tears.  Since the first time I read that in the Bible, it cuts me deep every time how despicable that was to spit on my Savior. He forgives them after beating Him so badly that He can't carry His own cross.  He forgives.

I always chase my sins to the lie I'm believing, so I can replace it with Truth.  Truth PUTS AN END TO THE LIES. Truth stops the cycle.  Truth sets you free.

I have walked my kids through so many "mental illnesses" using the word of God.  I have walked myself through mental illnesses to find healing with the Word of God.    I sin just like the next person,but i believe God is WHO He says He is and I AM WHO HE SAYS I AM.  When those lies come in from Satan, I fast and pray asking for TRUTH in revelation as to the why.  The more you do it, the faster you can see your "whys."  

There's two things God can't do!

He can't lie! 

He can't abandon you!

When Daniela learned that she couldn't keep God first by obsessing about her mom's murder, she was so taken back.  She knew she thought about it all the time and it was center of her existence.  It is the turning point of her life and the trajectory FOREVER changed.  She had good reason to hold tightly.

Do you have one of those days in your life you can't let go of?

I told her she could keep those thoughts of death, blood, fear, insecurity, abandonment, worthlessness, orphaned...many are true and real.  

But you will never keep God in first place if you tightly hold onto what happened to you.  These thoughts become number one allegiance.  You are loyal to keeping them.  There is no peace in those evil things.  Only destruction of your mind and life.  

Dying to ourself means dying to revenge and justice.  You have the choice to choose healing completely with Christ or you can choose to walk the path of lies thinking that you couldn't have done better, changed the outcome, pin this to Dad for life thinking that that punishes him somehow (when it only punishes Daniela.  That's a great lie of the devil.  Punishing people with their own minds!!)

We must accept Truth.  We must have faith in the Healer.

My Bible study is studying some of these common women sins this week.  We are committing to not allow them for ourselves so we can be used by God to the fullest and to produce healthy families.

Contact me if you want some counsel on these things.