You Don't Leave Behind Your Waterpot

I have no idea what it means to search for water and to bring it home, but Dani does, so I invited her outside to talk as I was reading about the woman at the well in John 4.  Today is a Dominican Catholic holiday, so the kids are out of school.   

Daniela's family would go to the river down the hill to get water.  

We made about 3 trips a day down and up with Mami, David, and Grabiela (sister that is after Jessica and before D).  Mom had saved them when she found gallons in the trash, street or if she bought clean water for Jessica, a baby, to drink.  If Mami found paint buckets, she would clean them out for David to carry.  David could carry two of the paint buckets.  He took a lot of breaks because they were heavy.  Mom had a bucket on her head and two in her hands.  Grabby couldn't always help because she had bad asthma.  (Eventually, Grabby went to live with a new family that could take care of her).  I could carry 3-1 gallon jugs.  

One time Papi found a broken tinaco, water storage usually on a house, where we could collect rain water and also store our buckets.  My Dad didn't know, but when it rained the tinaco would fill up quickly, so David and I would jump in and make a pool out of it.  We would dump the water and let the rain fill it up before Papi came home with clean rain water.

The first two trips were the house water to cook, drink, clean, do dishes, give parents' showers, wash feet, and give to the plants.  The last trip was for kids' showers.  Sometimes, we would just bathe in the river to not have to bring the water home.  My gallons were to be set in the sun to get warm and be used for a night shower.  We always showered at night and then in the morning.  It's a Dominican thing, Mom.  We didn't like doing this job, but it was a necessity to survive.  We didn't have running water in my house.  I can't stand when Jessica wastes gas when she cooks by letting the pot heat up.  We didn't have the luxury of wasting gas.  Our rich neighbor allowed us to use his electricity line.  David did work for him for 50 cents a day and he let us steal his electricity.  

Would you ever leave the water jug and not take it home? NO!  We couldn't live without that water!

I love hearing stories from D!  Don't you?

I was talking to my friend Wanzie the other day.  She asked me what do you want FIGHT Ministries to be known for? Do you want to be a generic ministry that fits the mold?   I got off with her and prayed, God, what do You want here?  I was on the other side of the property trying to do laundry.  I have access to 3 washers and 2 dryers and NONE are working properly right now.  That's another story, but I asked Him, what do YOU want here? 

Yes, we have a mission.  Our purpose is to restore hope, healing, security, and safety to children through the power of Christ.  But what does that look like?

As soon as I asked God, I heard be the woman at the well.  I instantly almost cried.  This really is my life already.  I had an encounter with Jesus and I have been running and telling my story ever since.  Dani met Jesus and has been telling her story ever since.  People often ask why is Dani so open to tell others?  Because she met JESUS.  No one that has encountered Jesus can be kept quiet.  There are no, I was a good kid and got Saved and my life is basically the same.  I do not see that story in the Bible, ever.  Why?  Because Jesus changes you from dead to alive--old to new.  

We want to develop a place that emulates the lady at the well.

Let me tell you about her:

A Samaritan Woman Meets Her Messiah

Therefore, when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus made and baptized more disciples than John 2 (though Jesus Himself did not baptize, but His disciples), 3 He left Judea and departed again to Galilee. 4 But He needed to go through Samaria.

5 So He came to a city of Samaria which is called Sychar, near the plot of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. 6 Now Jacob’s well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied from His journey, sat thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour.

7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” 8 For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.

9 Then the woman of Samaria said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.

10 Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”

11 The woman said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with, and the well is deep. Where then do You get that living water? 12 Are You greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank from it himself, as well as his sons and his livestock?”

13 Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

15 The woman said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.”

16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”

17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.”

Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.”

19 The woman said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet. 20 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, and you Jews say that in Jerusalem is the place where one ought to worship.”

21 Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe Me, the hour is coming when you will neither on this mountain, nor in Jerusalem, worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews. 23 But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spiritand truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. 24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

25 The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When He comes, He will tell us all things.”

26 Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”

The Whitened Harvest

27 And at this point His disciples came, and they marveled that He talked with a woman; yet no one said, “What do You seek?” or, “Why are You talking with her?”

28 The woman then left her waterpot, went her way into the city, and said to the men, 29 “Come, see a Man who told me all things that I ever did. Could this be the Christ?” 30 Then they went out of the city and came to Him.

31 In the meantime His disciples urged Him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.”

32 But He said to them, “I have food to eat of which you do not know.”

33 Therefore the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought Him anything to eat?”

34 Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work. 35 Do you not say, ‘There are still four months and then comes the harvest’? Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest! 36 And he who reaps receives wages, and gathers fruit for eternal life, that both he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together. 37 For in this the saying is true: ‘One sows and another reaps.’ 38 I sent you to reap that for which you have not labored;others have labored, and you have entered into their labors.”
The Savior of the World

39 And many of the Samaritans of that city believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, “He told me all that I everdid.” 40 So when the Samaritans had come to Him, they urged Him to stay with them; and He stayed there two days. 41 And many more believed because of His own word.

42 Then they said to the woman, “Now we believe, not because of what you said, for we ourselves have heard Him and we know that this is indeed the Christ, the Savior of the world.”

FIGHT Ministries is a place where God encounters people, it's supernatural things flowing with His presence.  It is going to be stories and stories of what He has done.  FIGHT already is that.  We are known as the crazy ministry with the "crazy God stories."  We have seen miracles, words, prophecy, wisdom, big faith, healing, dreams, giving, favor, and more.  We glorify His works here, not people who do good and do what seems good.  We once turned down a man that promised to fundraise millions for us, as he did in Africa, but Luke wouldn't partner with him because he wasn't working through the Spirit, but out of his own power and resources.  A few months ago I spiritually fasted for 35 days and felt God ask me to do a HIIT workouts for 30 minutes with my fitness group.  Not only did I keep with everyone but was going even faster with heavier weights sometimes!  You can't make this stuff up and you couldn't do it in your own power IF YOU TRIED!  But with God, the impossible happens!  I had every excuse to not workout because I had no food in me to be able to do it!  Yet, He said, "go" and I went.  I silently cried at that miraculous feat!  

One time a donor gave me $5,000 dollars!  God said give it to FIGHT.  I wasn't sure I heard Him correctly so I double prayed on that... and handed it over as a donation to the ministry.  What happened the NEXT WEEK?  I WAS GIVEN $5,000 USD dollars again.  

If it isn't going to glorify God, we don't to be part of it!  We want the Jesus exalted stories.  Have we gotten every dollar to fund this facility? Yes.  Has it been in a miraculous way that honors God and shows others that He did it? YES!  We don't even fundraise the way other organizations fundraise and we see hundreds of thousands come in.

I am in a season of prayer for staff.  Staff that are so in love with Jesus Christ.  People that have met Him and are now committed whole-heartedly to telling the stories to get others out of the trenches of darkness into the LIGHT. Can you help us find these people that God has chosen?  Our bar is set high: you must be committed to exalting Jesus and not yourself.  You must love others.  You must be more concerned about others than your rights, your wants, your desires, what you are offended by, your comforts--you must be willing to run back.

Why am I chosen to lead this place?  We are developing something very powerful here.  I am here to protect this Holy Ground.  Healing is coming and we will do everything to create an environment where God can come and do HIS THING, IN HIS PEOPLE!  (Why does this make me cry?!!  What did He say in verse 4 above?) 

Exactly.  He needed to go and meet her there.  Jesus met me there, too.  A crying girl bent down at a dryer in 2001 hysterically crying to please help me if you are real or I am going to die when my BFF died.  He needed to go to me and that day my life changed.  I didn't know who I encountered that day, but I went searching in every church I could visit.

Dani.  A girl crying.  Begging for help.  He needed to go to her.  And we all know her powerful story of redemption.

Even today, HE STILL COMES.  7.5 billion people in the world to deal with and God still looks down to a young girl in the Dominican Republic with tears running down her face. And He came to me, quickly.

I finished working out and a song came on shuffle and the kids already walked home as I stretched.  I started to cry at this song that had deep meaning to me from an old boyfriend who was emotionally hurtful in his words/actions.  As I sat there, Jesus' sweet words entered my Spirit asking me why do you hold onto these memories?  What did you expect of a man that doesn't follow Me?  He knew no better than the way he acted.  But on the flip side, my identity is not in that person's behavior.  As Wanzie texted me, let it go! Geesh, I didn't even know it was there until this old song popped on! But the Lord's revelation was so deep.  It's almost scary to think there are things that you don't realize you harbor.  

But today, He came and showed me we needed to make some changes in my thinking.  Ahh, My Phyllis. Daughter, I want to talk to you.  We need to clean this out of you.  There's no space here for that. 

LOVED, SO LOVED!  God is not too busy to come to YOU!  

These stories are never going to end until the day I die.  You are never going to stop hearing about it from me because I have tasted and seen it repeatedly.  And after I die, people will still be talking about what Jesus did in my life!

So here is what you are going to continue to see coming out of FIGHT:

We want rescued girls and staff running from here, leaving their water pots, to tell the town, the country, the world what they encountered here: JESUS.  

Dani, Jess, oldest sister, niece in front, after mom passed away

Quietly Waiting for Death

Mom, HELP!

What is going on!?

There's a spider in the shower with meeeeeeee!

We turned on the hot water to drown it down the drain.  It wasn't even huge!

THAT WAS THE SCARIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME!

I walk out of the bathroom saying, Child, you saw your Mom murdered in front of you.  I highly doubt that was the scariest thing that has ever happened to you.

Mom, that happened like 6 years ago.  

This scene happened a few days ago and I have thought about it every day since!  Dani and I spend most mornings reading this book about sex and purity before school.  We are so in-love with it that we read on the weekends, too.  This morning we sat on the porch and I asked her how she could possibly think the spider in the shower was the scariest day, ever!  I just would never have imagined she would ever say that about anything other than the day her mother died. Or, maybe the days and months following when her dad was on the run from police.  We ended up having the coolest conversation.

I took notes to share in this blog...Daniela is in total agreement with me sharing her story.  She believes in GLORIFYING GOD in all things.  We don't live hidden secretive lives.

Mom, I’ve forgiven and made peace. I need to move on in life and I can’t be stuck there. How can I have a new life if I’m not willing to move on from my past?

Jesus made me think of the future, I was stuck in the past. I thought my life was stuck thinking and reliving this moment in time, but when I met Jesus He told me He had a plan for my future and that I DID HAVE A FUTURE. 

I don’t think you forget it, the event that happened, but I also don’t think of my past and single out this one moment of time as “my past.” Instead, I think of my whole life was in darkness, not just this one thing, and He took me into the Light. 

After I got Saved, I wanted to hold on to it (the memory of her mother's death), but I realized holding onto it was holding me back from what God had for me. NEW LIFE. Place. School. 

I was quietly waiting for death back then.

She begins to cry. 

Me:  Why are you crying right now?

I realize how big His healing was to not stay there. Dark tunnel--no light. I cry because of what Jesus did in me. He took away a pain that I never thought would end. 

With Jesus, I finally wanted to live and not die. 

Mija

Do you want to see what we are reading?

https://www.amazon.com/Sex-Jesus-Conversations-Church-Forgot/dp/0801019052

No Weapon Formed Against Me

I would definitely say that 2020 has been a year of great change.

Wouldn't we all?

After two friends confirmed that they heard the Lord say I should move to the safe house property, my family packed up and moved as my contract came to an end at my apartment in town. I respect/trust both of these girls in hearing Him like I do myself.  This was my first decision ever that I didn't hear God tell me Himself to do something, but I was confident it was right.

4 days at the property and life was great and I felt so confirmed and at peace here.  I cried apologizing to God that I didn't want to move here!  It's far outside of town, I wouldn't be able to workout with my group of girls, the market is so far away, I love the Avenida to walk with friends--blah, but we got here and love flushing toilet paper, love clean water out of the sinks, taking baths, etc (we have a well and its clean water unlike the rest of the country).

Then things changed.

I woke up tossing and turning hearing voices one night.  It was outside but I thought I was dreaming.  I don't sleep well because I think I have Apnea, so I tend to wake up mid-dreaming and go back to bed.  This time I woke up, I heard voices again that sounded like it was in my room.  Slowly, I got up and looked outside to find guys by the washer machine on back porch by my room.  I had gun shots on my computer and I tried yelling at them--no one seemed to care.  I called my friend Juan to come and got Daniela up to help me incase they entered the house.  They never did.  One was caught by police and jailed for just the night.

A few nights later at 10:40pm I heard a slow walk down the stairs.  I knew it wasn't Jessica because she walks like a 300lb man down the stairs including skipping steps and landing like its a Ninja obstacle course.  I immediately got out of bed and planned to meet it in the middle.

Here's D walking towards me with a bat.

"Mom," in a voice that means something bad is about to be said.  In words that are not to be repeated, I asked her what was going on.  You won't believe this, she laughs a laugh that isn't a real laugh.  One of those inappropriate laughs that I'm not too sure why we do sometimes in fear or embarrassment?

You have got to be kidding me!?  Add a few more words that aren't appropriate.

There are men outside talking, Mom.  And no, I didn't come tell you immediately, I waited to make sure they are really there and that I am not crazy.

I tell her that we need to get sneakers on and then I realize we have all our sneakers outside on this rack I painted for the porch (the next day all sneakers are moved inside). I call Juan again to come and he does immediately, and I am so thankful for a friend here that comes quickly and owns a gun ;)

He finds out that the noises we heard were guys with a broken down car that were with the owner of the property next to ours.  It's my ex-accountant's father. He has cows on it and feeds them nightly.  No one lives right next to me here but owns the desolate property.  Ok, relieved.

The next day I have Dani call my accountant to tell him to tell his dad (that has property next to me) to not call me Americana if he needs my attention from the road.  He said he tried to tell me but I ignored him at like 6pm.  Evidently they left and came back later.  While Dani was talking to him he told D, I know your mom knows because she can see it on the cameras but you have guys sitting up at the road watching you.  I think you are a target.  It's very dangerous when they watch you during the day, it means they are looking down and keeping your schedule and of the workers here.  You need to get a gun or you need to get a security guard.  My dad and I think you are marked and it shouldn't be taken lightly.  The same two guys were at your house last night when we came back to get our car, but they left immediately.  They always leave when my dad pulls up and he has seen them several times. 

So who did we hear that night?  Who knows.  Could have been the guys waiting for help with the flat tire or the guys watching us.

I had Dani ask him if their intent is usually to harm the occupants or just to get their goods.  He advised to let them take whatever they want and do not fight.  If you fight, you will be harmed greatly. They think you can identify them and they would rather be put away longer by harming you then by just taking your things.

Honestly, Dani y I both needed to hear that because we are both warriors.  We both have baseball bats by our beds and our mentality is we will kill you if you enter the house.  We retracted this plan and decided that we would hide.  Barn door sliders are so pretty but they are not good for deciding where to hide and lock!

I was driving to Santiago when he told us this.  I must admit, I was pissed.  A mark?  Marking us?  Marking our property?  I got home and a friend called asking if I could hide an ex-gang member that became a Christian.  I felt like my life was NOT real that day.  After considering it and then learning all the details, I felt like that wasn't the best decision.  Luke already told me no way and I was heavily weighing his gift of discernment.  I had woken up that day and felt led to fast.  Then, I heard all these things and i was so thankful God led me into a fast to clear my mind and be praying all day for direction.  I declined being a refuge for this guy.  I felt like I NEEDED a city of refuge myself!  The more we talked about gang activity we pondered on the idea that we could be a mission for a gang.  I originally thought that the police roughing up the guy (23 y/o) and arresting him would make others stay out, but I learned that when someone is harmed in an assignment, this could make them want to send more in to let gang members show their loyalty to go in knowing you could get hurt.  And guys watching during the day is NOT NORMAL.

I just couldn't believe this was my life.

I felt the Lord call me to pray over the property.  I road the 4w with D and screamed prayers from the top of my lungs declaring evil to leave.  THE ONLY MARK WE HAVE IS OF CHRIST!  In the end times, those of the Beast will be marked but so WILL THOSE OF CHRIST.  I felt God ask me to go on the porch and worship.  I wanted to cry, NO, GOD!  It is dark out there and no one is going outside after 7pm when the sun begins to set!  

This was the first time since I started to follow Christ that when I heard a lie of the devil, immediately the Holy Spirit was just as loud following it with Truth.  I felt almost crazy in my head with how loud it could both be.  God would say I won't be shaken, the devil would say you just wait for the dark to come.

And honestly, every night it gets dark, I didn't let the girls out of the house and I seriously struggled with not letting the darkness overcome me.  I would check doors are locked and recheck a kid didn't open one.  I would get my lights on outside immediately and leave them on all night.

People said you need a gun, I looked at one.  Some said I needed dogs.  Juan dropped me off two street dogs and somehow I actually like them.  You need razor wire, you need higher fences, you need angry dogs, you need... whatever.

God kept telling me that I need HIM.  That is it.  Most nights I get in bed and I need to rebuke anxiety and fear.  I found myself reading and praying incessantly.  One night I felt God ask me to turn on a loud fan in my room and to not get out of bed not once for anything.  Dogs barking, stay in bed.  Cameras are sending me notifications, stay in bed.  Noises outside, stay in bed.  "I am dealing with what is going on, Phyllis."

Would you believe almost every single night I would read in bed and pass out from exhaustion without the crazy thoughts keeping me up? How did you do that, God!?

I could not believe it.  How am I sleeping so well??

Sometimes, I would find myself questioning God as to why I am single and no one to protect me.  How foolish as I have been protected every step of the way so far and I am sleeping through the night like I never do!  I found myself praying whatever is out there, You deal with it, God.  

I am so thankful to be single and to learn that God is enough.  As a single mom, I need to be the protector and the one to save my kids, etc...in this season, I am learning that all I need to do is pray and ask God for protection.  I have never felt SOO loved by God before.  I find myself in tears at how well He takes care of me and my kids.  The day I fasted I felt like my fast and prayers were breaking chains, breaking this principality over my land!  Even using the word principality was new to me!  So many bad things were happening to me and around me, I knew that this had to be broken with prayer and fasting.  The day I flipped the 4 wheeler on its side, I realized I am physically being attacked.  I am being chased out of here.  Marked. Mission. Chased. Attacked.  What in the world is going on here!?  God continued to tell me to just listen to Him.  Just let Him deal with this.

Kalee joined me in a fast and so did my friend Kim.  She's sick with COVID and IS fasting/praying for me.  I'm thankful for these warriors fighting with me.

Then God sent this storm that seemed to "clean out" the entire land.  Then, He sent a rainbow that started on the property and ended here.  I clung to that rainbow as fear began to attack me daily as soon as it got dark. NO! No weapon formed against me shall prosper.  I have nothing to fear when the most powerful being in the world lives inside of me and I can command anything in the Name of Jesus.

Nightly, I have found myself praying and praying more than ever.  Feeling like you are in danger brings on a new kind of clinging.  Psalms became my best friend. When you know that you are helpless and that the only way to win in this battle is for HIM to fight, you have to lay down and say, its yours God.

Many have asked if I am going to leave.

No.  Never.

I was sent on a mission from God to this country and I am staying until He asks me to leave.  I truly believe whatever darkness was here has been defeated.

I am excited to tell you that I hired an armed security guard.  He started tonight and that is so exciting!  I am so thankful he didn't start 3 weeks ago when this happened.  I have grown so close to God in this season that I would not change any of the circumstances for that experience.  I know I am so blessed to live a life so dependent on Him.

There is nothing sweeter than praying and God answering for your immediate needs.

Corona Virus in the Dominican Republic

Corona Virus in the Dominican Republic

·     We are in a State of Emergency

·     172 cases in a country of about 11 million (taken from a FB group)

·     Activities are suspended for the next 25 days

·     Curfew strictly imposed from 8PM-6AM

·     Schools are closed

·     Gyms are closed

·     Places that are open:  supermarket, small grocery stores, fuel stations, pharmacies and commercial establishments dedicated to the sale of raw or cooked food

·     Restaurants are closed, but you can call for takeout or delivery

·     Most small corner stores are open

·     Banks are open

·     Airport have closed the boarders, you can’t fly in unless you are a resident

·     Foreigners can fly home, but flights are scare and some are being cancelled 

·     People are posting in groups they can’t find flights out

For the most part, it is quiet in the mountains of Jarabacoa. A siren will sound at 8PM to go home and stay there.  I rarely go out at night after dark anyway because the rate of a drunk driver hitting you skyrockets.  My car is still a mess from a motorcycle plowing through an intersection a few weeks ago.  I hear police are stopping work vehicles during the day telling them they aren’t to be working.  I have heard that the police are sweeping the streets and arresting people that are out after 8PM, if you aren’t medical personnel.  The curfew just started last night, I think.

The supermarket is not out of items, people are not stocking up obsessively.  My family went grocery shopping, but honestly, having a large property with food growing rapidly, food isn’t a concern for me. 

About 10 missionaries have left; some with health concerns, family sick in USA, and others wanting to leave before they are stuck here. Leaving is never an option for me, so it never crosses my mind.  We all must pray and be confident in what He asks.  Many times in the Bible people are asked to do things that everyone around them would say DON’T DO, but God commands them to do it.  Just listen to the Holy Spirit and you will be confident. Be an Abraham.

School is closed and the girls are doing homeschooling. The country does not recognize home-schooling outside of this pandemic.  Daniela is doing it all online and Jess has packets to accomplish.  We are doing fine.  Math might kill Jess and I both.

On another note, I love being a stay-at-home mom.  I’ve been working from home for months now on FIGHT things. I help with construction when Luke asks and facilitate teams when they are here.  Everything is shut down, so it’s a very SLOW PACE right now. It is so relaxing to do laundry and clean without running around to accomplish other things. I am loving finding new recipes and cooking YUMMY lunches and dinners for my kids.  Sometimes when you are so busy, you throw whatever on the table. Lunches are fast like sandwiches and you don’t really care, but when you have time, it all changes!  I’m loving making things from scratch.  Daniela is vegan. She quit meat first, but then she’s been throwing up for 2 weeks, so we cut dairy, too.  We have all her tests back, but her Endo isn’t seeing patients. She thought lactose intolerance and stomach ulcers.  She sadly said that all the gastro issues Dani has is reflective of growing up poor, “in the barrio.”  She said corner store (colmado) eating is killing the populations' digestive tracks. She said, “Never eat SALAMI.”  I said, “STOP! Let me record this!” Everyone eats that in the DR.  She is Dominican and I’ve never heard that before.  We don’t eat it because it is poorly refrigerated.  She said all the meats at the colmado are infested with bacteria and parasites--most diseases are colmado related.  Anyway, Daniela’s loving things like dairy free pesto sauce, vegan hotdogs, black bean burgers, vegetable fritters, veggie burritos, and more!

What else is going on?  It’s been raining, too. I LOVE THE RAIN.  I know a lot of people become depressed…that’s not me. I find such joy and peace in the rain. It feels so spiritual to me, honestly. I always think of it as God kissing me with each drop.  I never hesitate to walk in the rain. I had been in a line to leave church last week, then realized it wasn’t a line to leave!  They were all waiting.  I don’t know if Dominicans are scare of getting sick, getting wet, or ruining their hair. Someone yelled to me…”NOOOOO, don’t go! Your hair!!”  My kids used to cower at the rain before, they could careless now after learning from me.  Be thankful for the rain!  <3

Anyway, life is good.  No complaints here.  I don’t usually suffer from anxiety, so I haven’t had any anxious thoughts.  I will abide by the statutes the government put into place. We haven’t left home in 2 days, only to go for a walk with friends yesterday.  I have taken requests to God on the daily asking God to keep Corona out of my house.  What He chooses to permit is fine with me.  

Use this time to pray, fast, seek, and read.  Don’t complain about having time to RELAX.  Take out a book and read!  Cook some good, healthy thought out meals and let the kids help.  Put huge time limits on kid movies and they will read more books!

Thank God for what you have been given and repent of the anxiety that says He isn’t in control—because HE IS.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xiu6hbz0iDk&feature=youtu.be

Death had a stronghold, but Your life was stronger

Rose from the grave, rose up from the grave, yeah

When evil is rising, You're rising higher

With power to save, with power to save, 

There's hope in the morning 

There's hope in the evening 

There's hope because You're living 

There's hope because You're breathing

There's hope in the breaking 

There's hope in the sorrow

Hope for this moment 

My hope for tomorrow 

If you are Christian, I encourage you to go through Exodus this week. Can you imagine seeing all water turned to blood?  And, I encourage you to be different than the world and not panic with anxiety and fear.  Be a light.

New Home

Our landlord asked us to move at the end of April.  He wants to redo plumbing and leaks in other places.

He said I could have 4-8 weeks to find something.  As June dwindled down, I still couldn't find anything.  I sought after 4 realtors to help and was shocked, none of them had but 1 house each, some not having any to show.  You can hire a realtor here to find a house to rent.  They usually make a month's rent.  It's a last resort because there were no houses showing "for rent" signs.

Right now, I am living in a house that has another house below.  I moved into this house after I left the school.  The landlord was older and grumpy, much like my dad.  I liked him. We got along just great, even though other tenants didn't like him as much.  My friend, at the time, helped negotiate and we got him to rent it to my for around $100.  I was single and wouldn't use the other rooms. That price is ridiculously cheap!

BUT GOD, right?

He soon died.  Then, my girls came to me.  The landlord's family lived in the States and monthly, I just paid a lawyer.  Luke took care of my house issues and I don't talk to anyone much.  It's been a sweet blessing in many ways (in other ways a headache), but now it's time to go.

So it is time to move.

The girls and I would drive around and around.  As June ended, I kept thinking I will just choose anything and get out of my house.  Then, my landlord texted asking if I got a place.  I told him no and he said I could take a little more time.  He said workers were coming, but I shouldn't fret.  They never came and I kept looking. I started to ask, God, "hey, um, what are You doing? Don't you have to provide housing for me?  Doesn't Your Word say to not worry about my life and what I will eat and drink? (Matthew 6)  So, why do I not have a home?  Shouldn't we honor this guy's request to move out by the end of June?

I would pray those prayers out loud with the kids in the car and to myself.  Just being a bit confused.  I found a few places but the rent was high for the area or for the quality.  Most places, it doesn't seem to matter if its a house or apartment here for the price are $260-$360 for places to live. As you can see, my house was nuts at that price and I gave up finding something in that very low range.  The homes I was finding in the lower range didn't have the back up water tank on the roof.  That's the water you use when the power goes off.  If you don't have it, you don't have water.  We are not above that, but I'm a for-lifer here.  There's no reason at that price to not have a water tank, so those options were out for me.

I kept telling God, I want the GOD STORY. I want to glorify Your name and tell the STORY.  If I just find an apartment and move, there's no story. Don't let me move on something, God, unless You do it! I'll move to whatever place You want, as long as You make it CLEAR that You chose it.

Waiting was so hard. I wanted to move. I packed early June!  I thought, surely I'll out in June.

The other day the kids and I drive around this neighborhood I DIDN'T KNOW EXISTED until recently.  We had been there 4 times already, driving around! It's a very nice and quiet neighborhood. Big houses. Every time I drove in there, I thought, I gotta get my truck washed to drive around here!

A man was pruning his very nice yard.  I  pulled up and asked if he knew of any homes for rent.  He said, "no, sorry, I can't help you."  Meanwhile, his wife hears us from far off and comes walking, "YES!"

She tells me to go two doors down, they have a sister that has a home for rent.  I pulled up and no one was coming out.  The lady from before saw me and walked over, I'll go talk to them for you.

The lady comes out and says ok.  I said, "uh, I'll follow you." She said, "no, we are walking. It's across the street."

WHAT? HERE? IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?

I snapped this because as we walked, I thought, Lord, is this it?  Is this really it?  I wanted to remember walking down to my new house.

As we entered I was floored.  I thought, "We can't afford this.  Is this yard real?!"  She asked how many people, I said just me and the girls.  As we went up the stairs, she said it's 3 bedrooms. I thought this is it.  As we went in, the girls were choosing bedrooms and placing furniture in their minds.  We walked and talked and I prayed she would say 15000RD pesos, that's about 300.  This house should be like 20-25000RD for the neighborhood and kind of houses.  She said 15.  Tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn't talk.  I told her that was a bit high on my list for a house, but maybe she could ask her sister to do 14, 000RD.  I told her I would pray as tears were trying to escape out and I'd be back with my brother to look at the electricity.  My current house is weak and I can't use my new oven or vacuum.  (Jeff, don't worry, soon I'll be able to use the oven part!!)

Luke's whole family piled in and came down yesterday and the power is a tad lower than Luke wanted it, but will be fine.  We negotiated on $14,500RD. It has so many fruit trees!!  Guanabana,  mango, limes, bananas, coconut,  and avocados. JACKPOT.

I was telling Luke that I always liked the iron door on my other houses, made me feel really secure.  I wished I had one at the new house.  Phyllis, NO ONE is breaking into this neighborhood.  Ok, true.  It also has video cameras downstairs and Luke said we can do a camera upstairs at my front door.  He can get these at a fair price on amazon for like $30.

I had one thing on the table for the Lord.  Give us a safe place to live with water and in a price range that we can sustain.  I'm a very simple person, doesn't take much to please me with material things.

THIS IS ABUNDANTLY MORE THAN I ASKED.

I'm moving in a few minutes and STILL can't believe I get to live here.  Oh, and the kids can walk to and from school!  That was on my list of requirements, too.

But, Wait. I’m The One That Comforts Her.

**The last photos are graphic.

When D was in the hospital last week for splitting her head open on a volleyball net post that was cemented to the ground, she had forgot several years of her life.  Part of that amnesia included living with me.  When the school called at 9:45am, they were just notifying me that she may need stitches and I might want to meet her at the hospital. Sometimes people go down the mountain to handle emergencies because they say it’s a better hospital.  Being that it was her face cut open, they wanted to give me the option of where she would be sewn up at to do the least amount of scaring. Nonchalantly, I got dressed and met her there.

I walked into emergency and saw a teacher and asked where she was.  He pointed to a room and I bopped in there smiling.  Talking fast like I usually do and rubbing her leg and thigh (we are a touchy family) in comfort, I was asking what happened, how you feeling, how did this happen, etc.  She returned my touch with moving her bottom to the wall on her gurney as if a victim is on all fours with their butt on the ground acts as someone stands over them with a bat or knife!  Her eyes instantly made me tear up.  She looked as if she was having PTSD of her mom.  I thought maybe she was having flashbacks of being in the public hospital after her mom died.  She didn’t sleep for 3 days straight.  She was wide awake in shock and fear having a massive breakdown and they brought her to the hospital where they knocked her out to rest.  I thought all the blood reminded her of holding her mom as she died. Her eyes scared me. 

She turned to her friend asking in Spanish who I was and why was I touching her. Uhh, what?  Who?  Who is she talking about?

I had no idea there was brain trauma.  Umm, me? Is she talking about me? Yes.  

Wow.  I didn’t even try to say, Hey, I’m your Mom.

She was panicking and we decided I would wait outside.   Wait, she thinks I would cause her harm? I was mind blown.

(I’ll find out later she was never experiencing PTSD-- no flashbacks happened.  She said, “Mom, I thought all that would make me freak out about my Mom and it didn’t.”  I REALLY was ME causing the anxiety being the stranger.

But, wait. I’m the one that comforts her.

Then, it was time to go into the surgery room to sew up her head and I couldn’t go in there either.  When she came out, she was in a gown and I was so mad/sad that she changed without me!!  That’s my kid and she doesn’t take clothes off without me!  

The nurse wanted to give her a shot in the bottom for tetanus and Dani asked Luke and I to go out. What?  That’s my butt in there.  Sigh.   She’s too young to be in there alone.  There’s no one to comfort her and to walk with her through all this.

To Daniela, we were the Americans that put on a VBS sports camp years ago right before she moved in. She confirmed to me later that she was just waiting for SOMEONE to come to her in the hospital.  Anyone but these creepy Americans that are in her room.  

We had to transfer her to another medic place to do the brain scan.  I asked her if we were making her anxious, she said yes.  As she was about to go into the scan machine, I started to cry as I took her hair out of a ponytail.  She was able to understand all English, but only reply in Spanish.  She looked at me and said, Are you crying? Why are you crying?  I didn’t even answer, just quickly wiped tears as I tried to get her stupid hair tie out of her ridiculously thick, curly hair. She said, “Hey, stop crying. You don’t need to cry, everything is fine.  Stop crying, ok?”

I kept finding myself on the brink of tears!  Repeatedly saying to myself, but I’m the one that comforts her! How can I be causing the panic?

Later she started calling me mama and not knowing why, then apologizing for calling me that.  So what’s your name? I forgot.  

I couldn’t help but feel such empathy for her.  Being a 15 year old little girl in the hospital alone and waiting for help to come.

***By 3 in the afternoon, she had laid her head to rest for a moment and woke up calling me Mama.  This time FOR REAL.  

Brother David came to visit.

Eating the next morning and no issues swallowing

You bring your own blankets, pillows, shower stuff, towels, etc

We prayed for a new upgraded room with air and got it!  Even had a fridge and better wifi!

We are out of there the next day at 11:45am!

This is the real reason for this blog and I left out A LOT OF details about the rest.  Daniela wrote a blog and she might hit them, but this is the most important…

I think it was the next day we got back home, I woke up to read, like usual, as the sun was barely coming up.  As I was reading in Genesis, I heard God tell me…I AM the Comforter.  

Even in typing that tonight, my eyes well up.  I repented immediately.  Who do I think I am!?  Geesh. I spent all day freaking out that I wasn’t able to comfort her.  Although I prayed for her, did I once ask God to comfort her?  No.  Not once did I ask Him to do what HE DOES.  I was too busy silently crying for her because she was scared and I couldn’t be the one to soothe her fears.  A lot of people commented that it must be so sad for me to have done so much for her the last 5 years and that wasn’t remembered. Or just to be a Mom that isn’t remembered, but honestly, none of that even crossed my mind.  We would work though the memory stuff.  My heartache was her loneliness--  a little girl at the hospital without any loving faces that she knows and can give her rest.

Luke had already prayed by himself for her to have memory back and she instantly remembered him baptizing her.  Praises to Him for that memory! She was still puzzled as to why he baptized her.  He asked her if she was praying through this, she said no.  She told me later her memory was saying she wasn’t Saved.  I do not even understand that.  My thought was well, she doesn’t know Jesus right now, so He can’t do anything for her right now.  

This was not true.

I do not want to experience any of that ever again, but I am so thankful to go through that trial that spoke so loudly to me that I DO NOT COMFORT her, HE DOES.  I need to lift her up to Him to take care of His kid.  She is His before she is MINE.  

All along, she was never alone.  Man, that just makes me cry.  People always comment how I am so Jesus focused and yet, here I was trying to wear pants that do not belong to me.  With the best MOM intentions around, not in a prideful manner—or so I thought.  But, really, it is.  It’s a scary place to try to take over titles that aren’t ours.   I never want to replace Him as number 1 because I am going to die one day.  There are going to come days in their lives when they are truly alone physically and I will not be there to lean on…

BUT HIM.  

He will always be there.  He promises to NEVER leave us and never FORSAKE us. 

Never.