Awareness

 Last night Dani and I went to a concert in the capital. It’s always exciting when we are able to go because they are so few and far between. I love listening to dani and I singing to Jesus together, loudly. I love the body of believers singing in unison. One thing I look forward to in heaven is singing LOUDLY! 

Jamie, Luke, and Tyler are down this week to do investigations to help make promos for FIGHT. We finally opened the safe house last week and I have so much to say, but I’ll write another one this week. 

So after our Jerez concert, we joined the guys in walking the streets and clubs to get footage of what’s going on. We can talk about it all day, but when you go and see it yourself, your heart breaks. You just think how is this happening with right in front of us.  How does evil win and the world just goes about their business. 

Every morning this week I have sat with God to “show me roots” of what is going on. How do we rip out cycles—When girls do not even understand trafficking! Adults don’t even understand trafficking. If I hear one more person say a girl is just a prostitute or sex worker, I will die from a broken heart. No. A minor can never choose that life, she is always trafficked. And an adult women in it, is trafficked, too. There’s dominance and control from a young age and the evil in this world searches in the dark night to find them specifically to gain money off it. Someone is in control of them. Someone profits off their brokenness. 

Trauma. 

Deep trauma that pushes you to survive. Just survive. They are young children abandoned  and broken down that are trying to get their basic needs met: care, food, clothes, bed, security.

It isn’t hard to take a child of sexual trauma and put them into situations that escalate slowly into trafficking and I’m learning from my own investigations this week, girls DO NOT EVEN KNOW they are being trafficked sometimes. They are set up in ways to think it’s just a huge party and you have been chosen as some elite female to participate free with other young girls. Then, drugs and alcohol soften anxiety and let them let feel good.  Little do they know thousands of dollars are paid for the men to enter this space and you never chose what you were doing. 

These targeted girls are desensitized to sexual acts from trauma and they dissociate from it. Disconnect emotions and even self from what is going on and feel, thinking they are wanted by men. Thinking they are in control of who and when during the night, but really, it’s all a set up. Afterwards, you gain new clothes and shoes and some food to look good. As my psychologist said in an interview, this is a huge part of the culture here. The way you look. You might live in a home with no bathroom and no running water, but you could look like you are a professional in the supermarket. 

To a poor kid whose self esteem has been beaten with a belt, this feels like love and care, but it’s really something traffickers need to DO with the girls to clean them up and fit the norm. They don’t want a poor, dehydrated kid on the outside, just on the inside.  

And so they feel cared for and their stomachs are warm with food. 

Surviving at 12. 

I need to shower to head out to another place but the last thing to share is that this week God has been talking to me about anger and righteous anger. Anger produces works of the flesh—Galatians talks about this—you want to damage and destroy others, sometimes even murder. But James tells us to be slow to anger. 

Righteous anger produces power and change in Christ. Remember Jesus flipping tables?

Last week my psych messaged saying a doc wouldn’t let her in on a sonogram with our Perla because she didn’t have a mask. NO ONE EVEN USES MASKS! I had been in a copy place when it came in. I dropped my things on the counter and hustled down the streets back to the clinic. ANGRYYY. 

OPENNNN THE DOOR! Now! 

The doc repeated that no one comes in without a mask. I kept saying SHE’S A MINOR! He kept saying I’ll take care of her and raising his voice letting me know he thinks he’s in control. 

Out of no where, I said, I TAKE CARE OF HER! I do! Not you! You are a stranger!! 

Our Perla exited the bathroom and I had no idea she was even behind that door. For a moment I felt embarrassed at the way I was raising my voice at him with her behind the door. 

But as I sat there watching the rest of the exam, I thought no. I’m not embarrassed. Devil is trying to mess with me. This is MY GOD GIVEN JOB! That was righteous anger. This body is not for everyone and it will be respected. Part of respecting a child is having an adult/mom/psych with you to watch over you in the doctors. I winked at our Perla as she stepped out of the bathroom and she grinned a little. Thinking, ahh, who is this side I haven’t seen out here fighting for me. 

Last night, I looked across the bar and met eyes this tiny girl in a red dress that exposed legs just under her bottom, parts of stomach, and just covered top. There were many of the red dresses. Waiting. Then there was a lady my age walking around, too. None were waitressing. None were handling money for checks. 

I smiled at the young girl and winked (as a mom does to say I love you when we are in public/large groups.) This sweet broken face smiled. 

We’re coming for you, baby.

All of you. 

And we are flipping tables and making whips to break the cycle. 

THESE ARE OUR KIDS! 

November Update

If you follow me on Facebook, yesterday you would have seen this update:

I saw the craziest thing yesterday!

Police did a sting operation to catch a criminal and shut down a bridge with only his car on bridge. All vehicles moved off bridge to leave the CRV STRANDED alone as they moved in to arrest (or as my Dominican friends said to kill) All officers (about 8 of them that I could count) jumped out pointing guns at the suspect as they ran to the vehicle!

Guess who was in the vehicle?

The answer to the status update was: Me. I was in the vehicle. Not kidding. I was heading to my last IV treatment appointment and found myself surrounded by national police at gunpoint. Thankfully the kids were in school and I was alone. They were 100% sure I was the guy they were hunting until my window was rolled down.

I figured I should start off by telling you who was in the vehicle, and then work backwards to the whole week and what has been going on over here.

Sunday the 7th, my pastor was explaining in church that Christians are not going to by-accidentally take the mark of the beast through vaccines. When the time comes, we will need to choose. As we drove home from church I was explaining more to the kids. I was saying that Dani and I will have the mark of Christ on us, as the Bible says. "Jess, you will have whatever you decide when the time is here." I said to Dani, "We fast and so being hungry does not phase us anymore because we have learned how God sustains us". I then said that God can also send us manna. As I said the word, in my mind it appeared like this: MANNA.  

Now, I believe God speaks in many ways to His people and to me, one way He tells me to pay attention is that I see words in my mind in CAPS! I already oddly spell words in my head and this gets me in real trouble when I am speaking Spanish because I tend to throw words up in my mind as I talk and my spelling isn't always there for Spanish vocabulary. Anyway, as I said manna and it was written MANNA in my mind, I thought-- speaking to the Holy Spirit, "Ok, God, let me know what you want to say about that. "  

We went on about our lives and Thursday came. I spent my morning talking to our potential teacher giving her a tour of the safe houses and discussing my plans with ministry. I drove her back to town and decided to get a workout in at lunch time. I had just gotten an email from Audible that I had a new credit available for a book. As I got ready to go to the gym, I messed around looking at books and what do I find?

A book named MANNA by Steve Farrar. (Yes, it WAS in CAPS!)

I thought, no way. I wasn't sure that I recognized the name of the author at the time. (I checked my library later and I have his other book named Point Man. I love reading books that are written for men 😉).

I kept scrolling but I was pulled to the book, so I went back and hit download. I got ready for the gym and walked down. As I started, I felt a pull to listen to the audiobook and I was like God, I can't lift to an audiobook, I need MUSIC to lift. It wouldn't stop so I pressed play and racked them up.

The whole time I was in the gym, it was as if the author was speaking directly to me. This was manna to my heart. He repeatedly spoke about how God always comes through. The Israelites were 2 million people and God never forgot to send manna to them. He sent just enough for the day. They were not allowed to scoop any up because it would go bad!   I was texting another board member, Kim, and she was saying God has been speaking to her about Manna, too. Everything she was texting was exactly what the author was saying in the book. I sat back on the weight bench, dropped my dumbbells and said, "Ok, God. I hear You. This ministry is Yours. We are finally given the GO AHEAD from Conani to open and now we lack funds to hire Dominicans and buy needs for the rescued girls. God, I believe that You can have a stranger call me and donate. God, I believe a church could call at any minute and donate $50,000 dollars. God, I am POSITIVE You sent me to this country and I am POSITIVE you chose me to be lead this ministry in this season-- I give it all back to You to OPEN US! I will not be overwhelmed by this giant task in-front of me." 

I finished my workout and went home.

That night at 7:21pm my phone made a sound as I was in the kitchen. The closed screen showed a message from Fernando. I waited to open it as I finished my task thinking it was one of my pastors. At 5pm I had texted my other pastor checking to see if our disciple class was cancelled. I was waiting at church and no one had showed, so I texted a few people and left at 5:20. I figured my other pastor was texting me to mention something about this.

As I opened the WhatsApp, I realized I didn't have this number saved, but yet Whatsapp tells you the name of the sender. It wasn't my pastor, this was a stranger to me. Now, I do know of him because Luke knew of him, but I have never seen, met, or talked to him before. He told me that someone gave him my number and he wanted to see if he was in contact with FIGHT Ministries. I told him that he had reached us and I was the new director. He went on to tell me that he had been in communication with an organization in the USA to help him build a women's safe house. There had been a miscommunication with leadership and they did not realize he wants to develop a home for women that have been rescued from human trafficking. This org was looking to partner with a children's safe house. He had already sent his budget and information, but he was told that they could no longer help him. The organization asked if he knew of another org in the Dominican Republic working with children rescued from human trafficking. Fernando told him that he heard of a guy named Luke up in the mountains and he could contact him to see if he wanted the partnership.

Of course I sent him all my contact info and said have him call me. He mentioned the org and I wrote it down. I emailed my board members and Rose wrote back asking me what the org was and I threw it in the search engine to give my board more information. I thought, Ok, I can't find it. This organization seems to be backed by famous christians. I messaged the guy back and asked him to send me the link because I wanted to be able to read about them before they contact me and I was having trouble finding the organization.

He sent me back the link...and I did not make a mistake. I had the right website. 🤯

Now, we have only texted back and forth and we would still need to be chosen to work with but I am asking my readers to pray this week and if you fast, fast! 💕

And even if they do not choose us, God can literally have a stranger text me and encourage me that He is capable of way more!

As I walked the campus with my potential teacher, I was telling her about how FIGHT found our 16 acres. Do you all remember the story? We were at the local plaza and a man came up to us and asked if we were the Americans looking for land to buy. A straight up divine appointment where the Lord sent a stranger to us, to drive us straight to the property that God wanted us to buy. We emailed pastors to help and in December of 2015 we purchased a few mountains and broke ground in 2016 with excavating those hills! AND DO NOT FORGET, they practically gave it to us for pennies! We paid around $45,000 USD, which is absolutely insane!

I love telling people the FIGHT stories of things God has done in miraculous ways. It reminds me of His work and faithfulness to this vision.

Friday I headed to my doctor's appointment for 11:30. I was running a bit behind because I was doing a phone interview for a house mom position that lives in Columbia and the time got away from me. Time got away because I didn't know the country code which made me later than I planned contacting her.

So, before I reached town, I noticed in my rear view mirror there was a national police truck behind me. Now, police do not pull people over here for anything to do with traffic stuff. If they have their lights on, then they want to go around you or maybe they just want to drive with lights on for no reason. I am serious. I wasn't paying much attention to them like we would in the USA. Traffic came to a stop on the Yaque bridge and I stopped, too. I looked up in the rear view mirror and saw about 4 guys pop out of the truck with guns behind me. Even the driver jumped out and I thought, well, that is odd. Now, remember we have security guards everywhere and my guard leaves a gun with me, so I am not exactly frightened by guns anymore. I looked ahead because I caught out of my eye that the cars in front of me were moving, but I wanted to stay still. Just then I saw the cop truck up ahead had cut off the bridge traffic coming onto the other side of the bridge. Men, jumped out with guns up ahead coming at me. I looked around and was like oh my word, I am the only vehicle on the bridge!! Immediately, I opened my window and the passenger side before they ever got to me. Screaming from behind, a cop was yelling for me to put the back windows down. I immediately did as he said. Now, I have never had a gun pointed at me and I have at least 8 men pointing guns at me from ALL ANGLES. A man bends down, looks in and widens his eyes-- Sorry. it's not you. This car is the same as the person we are looking for...all guns are told to drop and they all start walking away. UMMM EXCUSE MEEEE, what is going on!? He spoke back to me in real slow Spanish like I was stupid and repeated the same thing. I kindly called him sir, and told him I understood him. I wanted to know if it was female or male and what the details were 😂. I felt like if they were about to kill me, I could at least get to know details! Sometimes a cute face can get you info. That day he only answered a male and walked away shaking his head.  

FYI, my truck is in the shop so I am driving a rental CRV. Evidently the murderer, drug and guns trafficker, and selling land that doesn't belong to him guy has been out in my neck of the woods driving a CRV.

I can joke around but I told this story to my doctor, pastor, and BFF lawyer and all 3 said you are really lucky you were not killed. These situations end with the person in the vehicle shot dead. Have you not heard that they killed that pastor and wife because they THOUGHT they were in the car of a criminal?? I Googled it when I got home and found a few other stories where police just opened fire on the vehicle just because it was the same mark as the criminal. Have you ever been in a situation where you know God saved your life? It is truly WILD.

I must say this, guys. I was a bit impressed that the police had been watching me and followed me. I was impressed that they called ahead to another cop to shut the bridge down and that I was coming. I was amazed they cleared the bridge to only have me there.

I am not impressed that they didn't search my trunk. They didn't ask for the title of the car. They didn't even ask for my identification or whose vehicle this is or if I have been kidnapped and put in this car OR ANYTHING!

I went on with my day and got the kids at school around 3. We drove home and I found a man at my gate waiting. Dani rolled down her window a bit because he was on her side. He was off the motorcycle and trying to look into the compound from a hill. With her mean face, Dani asked him what he wanted. He asked if I was Phyllis Brady and then passed me papers to let me know I am being sued. Y'all remember I have already been sued for 1 million dollars because a 12 year old child ran a red light and almost killed me and my kid? Well, I am headed to court again for something else.

Get behind me, Satan. I'm busy.

October Update

I feel like this month completely flipped over and I am like what just happened.  

JESSICA

My friend Stefanie was in town earlier this month and blessed us with a stay in Punta Cana for the night.  Jessica was living 30 minutes from there so we decided to make the 6 hour drive to bring Stefanie to meet some friends flying in.  We contacted Jess before hand to come stay at the beach with us, but she didn't want to.  Her public school class had changed to online because they didn't have enough teachers for the 6th grade class.  She asked me to bring her a phone or computer to do school work through WhatsApp.  We stopped by and Jessica ran to the truck laughing and smiling.  THIS WAS COMPLETELY opposite of all our visits to see Jess.  Then, she wanted to come with us to the beach but she was already in charge of babysitting her 4 nieces while her sister was in school.  Her older sister is back in school getting her GED. I left her the cell phone to communicate with us.  She had been texting in the night and talkative.  

The next morning, we had lunch and I was about to bring Stef to her resort and drive the 6.5 hours home when I got a text from Jessica. 

Can I go back to Jarabacoa with you?

What do you mean?

Can I go home with you?

You want to live with us?

Yes.

Are you sure, Jess? We will not live with violence.  We cannot live with you screaming and yelling.

Yes, I am not going back to before.  I will follow your rules and listen when you talk.

We dropped Stefanie and headed to Jessica!  She had all her stuff packed and spent a little bit of time talking to her sister, then started on our long journey home.  Jessica left on her own merit and she was always allowed to come back when she was ready to live with us.  It might sound crazy to let an 11 year old decide, but at the time, she was already deciding by running away, living outside, and quitting school.  In order to keep us all alive, seriously, we prayed and let her decide to leave.

All has been calm and to be honest, Jessica is completely different!  I am not going to say that she is perfect and all is well--what I can say is that she has had the biggest revelation in her life.  She hated her life living with us to the point of wanting to die or kill us and now after being gone for 7 months, she can verbalize that life here was so easy and I never was asking too much of her.  

WOW.  

When she lived with Ana, she had to help take care of her 4 nieces and nephews, wash dishes, and clean the house.  SHE WAS BUSY ALL THE TIME.  AND, IT WAS LOUD WITH ALL THOSE KIDS.  

She got back to the house with us and the first thing she said was that this place was quiet and she could sit and relax.  

We were able to enroll her in Dani's school and commit to math tutoring.  We have been beyond impressed with their new school.  Jess was so excited that on the first day the Director took the time to find her at recess and give her a welcoming gift.  Do you have any idea how busy this man is!?  Yet, he set a timer to find my kid at her recess hour to welcome her to the school.  He didn't even know anything about Jessica or my family at the time, he literally just wanted to welcome a new student.  Dani says he has come in to her class to pray for them.  So much more to write about him, but I have too much to write in this blog!

Anyway--Jess told us on the ride home from Punta Cana that she prayed to God to not let me leave Punta Cana without her.  She had been texting me in the morning and it wasn't going through.  After her prayers she realized she had done some block on me.  She clicked it off and sent me a text, just as I was about to stand up from the restaurant table.  INCREIBLE.

I also needed many things for Jessica moving in and I posted on a missions group here and someone had by accidentally ordered an extra pair of sandals last week.  Isn't that incredible that God knew and provided for her before she ever knew that she was coming home?!  I also had another friend that has an extra pair of black sneakers for her for school!

Last thing I wanted to say about Jessica is that she is way more open to God.  She led the dinner prayer last night and my heart just overflowed!  She has been really open with her emotions and thoughts with us.  Every time she becomes angry or bothered, she comes and tells me what is going on and we process it. This is HUGE for her.  Sounds crazy, but it's like everything I ever taught her and her counselor Wanzie taught her is finally being put into use.  She just came to me right now saying she is getting angry with Dani.  Dani has her hair tie that is special to her and she wants it back, but it's in Dani's bun right now.  I was so amazed she came to me about this.  She was about to burst into tears telling me that she shouldn't be so upset.  We discussed how Jesus also cried and was sometimes upset.  We can be emotional, but how do we deal with that?  We talked about how mature and wise she was to seek counsel like Fausto preached last week.  We discussed how she handled this exactly the way she is suppose to!  Identify why she is upset and find someone to talk to-- to process it.  She wasn't angry or violent and she didn't stuff it into her shoes to hold against Daniela for weeks or years!  I am really impressed with her this week.  Jessica and I were super close her first years with me.  Then, as she went through this rebellious period, she has pushed me away the last 4 years.  It's exciting to see her loving and talking to me again.

SIBERIAN HUSKY

Daniela's new best friend raises huskies.  For weeks, she has been asking if we could have one and I keep saying NOOOO.  I don't even like dogs and I have 3.  Jessica moved in and the day she started school, I picked her up and did her physical therapy.  She has some muscle injury or we think it could be her crazy growth!! and they are doing some muscle manipulation stuff to get the wrist tendons to open up.  We headed to grab Daniela at her friend's house.  I sent Jessica down this dead end road because it's hard to get my truck in and out.  Dani got in the car with a FREE Siberian Husky.  WHAT!

Now, let me tell you the back story.  Who do you think has had an OBSESSION with SB her whole life?

Jessica.  

This is literally a gift from GOD.  

I looked at Dani and pulled away.  Loki is now a part of our family-- she's pure and expensive!  But she was FREE!  I still cannot believe we now have 4 dogs.  

TEACHING

The kid's school is the school I came down here to teach at in 2012.  The principal sent out a message the other day saying that he will be teaching high school English because the teacher had a family emergency in the USA and was leaving.  I felt bad for him because he is doing a fantastic job leading the school, but figured they would be fine and God would provide another teacher.  

The next morning, as soon as I opened my eyes, I could feel God leading me to tell him I could help.  When God asks me to do something, sometimes I get shaky and I have this urge to speak it.  However, I wanted to keep it a secret.  I do not want to commit to another job.  I already have a job as the Director of FIGHT.  And because we have been waiting on Conani to certify us, I can't hire positions because I have no idea when we will ever open!  So, I am the counselor organizing the programs for Conani, office manager, and the HR person, and the teams coordinator and whatever needs to be done for Conani certification  But there I was on Thursday morning-- knowing I am suppose to email Perez and tell him that I can help if we can work with my schedule until SOMEONE FILLS IT IN.  I have no experience in high school English language arts!  But, my colleagues didn't name me Editor in Chief and Ms. Google for nothing 😉.  I really love information and writing.

I went in to speak to Perez and would you believe that the exact days and times I could give him....are the exact times he needed covered?  Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.  I mean, I can.  I knew God was asking me to help, so I knew it would work with my schedule.  Perez is still the head teacher and is in charge of lessons/grades, but I have 6 periods that I am covering while they do work.  Can I say that teaching is really my heart's desire?  I miss the classroom so much, but I know it isn't what the Lord has had for me the last few years and I am thankful to help through Christmas in the class.  I really don't think my teaching career is completely over. Even when we open, my butt will be found in the classroom helping the teacher on my off time from being the Director.  😉 

FIGHT

So, just as I left Jarabacoa Christian School (JCS) and headed home, I contacted my lawyer and told her to call Conani and get permission to open the orphanage while we get certified.  She wrote back that at her meeting the day before CONANI said OPEN.  

OH MY WORD.  

I thought, God why did you just let me commit to JCS!  We will never understand His ways, completely.  So here we are!  About to hit the ground running with hiring! And, once we are fully staffed and trained--we will welcome girls at our safe house site.  

Let me plug this real quick:  we need people to commit to donating to FIGHT monthly!  THERE IS SO MUCH TO BUY!  Go to www.fightministries.org/donate and become a monthly supporter of the ministry!

Treatment #3 of Chelation

You guys are getting blogs weekly like when I first moved here!  I really do love writing.  I hope to keep up with a few blogs a month after this resurrection of the blog.

Dani was sick at school ayer, I ran to pick her up and take her home to turn around and go meet with our ministry lawyer.  Straight afterwards I went back into town to the doctor to do my IV.  The nurse was able to get my iv needle in so smoothly.  She sweetly taped it and it wasn't going anywhere.  Last week, a different nurse used my big vein on my hand and the tube popped out midway and blood was everywhere (and so was my expensive solution until I stopped the iv).  

Doc always asks how I feel and how it's going.  I told him I feel awful.  Everything is making me nauseous, I can't workout at all, my legs are jello, and I want to sleep a lot. I am dizzy and can't seem to think straight most days.  He said all of this is normal--that it gets way worse before it gets better.  He asked if I have a taste in my mouth that is different and I realized I do!  I didn't really know what it was, but it wasn't normal.  He said it was metals being released. He asked if my feet hurt and they hadn't yet, but last night I woke up with one sore foot.  

He said after the initial 21 day diet of basically juicing, I will do another 21 days slowly adding in protein. He said since my kidneys are having issues, we took out meat to be able to let the kidneys get going and then we can add it back in.  My kidney that had been real sore has gone down to almost never being an issue.  A few days the other kidney had a slight soreness, but he said it could just be that kidney going back to working.  Next Monday is the last chelation therapy, but we will retest the organs and blood to see about functioning and levels.  My liver enzymes were high to start.  My creatine was low and so was my uric acid.

I figured out my hate of coffee enemas and found an article that said to cut the amount in half and do it in two parts for a longer time.  I also lowered the bag from the high shower curtain to midway on the shampoo rack.  I finally have success with this.  I was getting frustrated with this because it's a huge part to the liver detox.  Basically, the coffee stimulates the liver and the liver produces bile and eliminates toxins.  It is really wild to hear the gall bladder dump in this process too.  You hear a loud rumble like your stomach is hungry but this is higher up on the abdomen and to the side a bit.  (I tell these details because I had no idea so many of you do this for detox, so if I could help someone with that process by my experience, I'm glad!)

Coffee enemas also deplete your electrolyte balance so I am trying to watch that.  Between that imbalance and a light food diet, I feel so out of it.  I pray through the process daily and if I feel too light headed or malnourished, I eat a piece of fish (twice a week I am allowed fish) and some extra carbs.  The process also make you nauseous afterwards when you are detoxing metals, he says.  All these things are released and then you feel sick as your body deals with it.  I have to do it morning and afternoon.  (Can I brag on my staff at this point?  I found clothes on my line last week and a load of laundry in the washer and was like who is doing laundry!? I asked Maria, our campus cleaner, and she said she stopped by one morning to start a load, and then another for me.  I could cry!  Fran, my maintenance guy, took my trash out of the truck and I didn't ask.  Julio, my farmer, brought produce up to my house after I told him to leave it by the office and I would go get it sometime.  I am so thankful for them!

Doctor says after this week, I should be turning and feeling much better.  I can say last night I didn't sleep 13 hours like last week, I was up at my normal 6am and went to bed around 9.

My weight didn't change this week.  To me, this is shocking because I feel starved most days.  My friend that does this therapy weekly for some paralysis after stroke, lost 10 lbs JUST last week.  Men, they make us angry.  Eat a few veggies and lose weight.  

After my Spanish class this morning, I am going to take Dani to the doctor.  She has slept since 1pm yesterday. Sore, red throat, sore back, dizzy, lethargic--  Lift her up for me.

Also, Jessica has registered for school in Higuey, the place she is living now.  She will start public school on the 20th when the country starts!  That's exciting!  I will send you a first day of school pic.  Gabriela's (sister) adoptive mom took her school shopping last week and she sent me a photo of Jess.  She is sooooo tall. I spoke to Jess this week and she is excited to start school.  That was nice to hear because she hates school! 

Blue Scorpion Venom Treatment

Number 2 out of 4 of my chelation treatments was Monday.

Last week my doctor started me on a new diet that basically has me drinking green juices 8 times a day with a few days of oatmeal or fruit for breakfast and for lunch sometimes I can eat green vegetables. Sometimes soup of vegetables made with water, cilantro, and garlic. Other days I can have a potato or maybe a piece of fish.  I’m currently on day 7. These juices help to restore vitamins to my body and the potato is for potassium.  

Last week I had more energy. I did my workouts and increased my weights, but this week I am so EXHAUSTED. I’ve been nauseous for 5 months or so, but this week, I don’t even want to eat when I can or it’s hard to finish.  

Another part of treatment is coffee enemas. Don’t freak out too much. People in America do this, too.  It's a way to detox the liver and colon.  I was slow to start this part of detox because I couldn’t find the bag enema here. I found a regular enema at the farmacia, but it only holds 133ml.  I needed to do a full quart.  This seemed like a cluster. I went to the medical store that I rented Daniela's surgery equipment and found the bag one last Saturday. This looks just like the bag you use when you have an earache, or at least it’s what Filomena used! 

Once I got the bag over the weekend, I started coffee enemas. You boil a quart of water with 3 T of coffee grinds for 3 mins. Strain it a few times and let it sit. Then, you are suppose to do it twice a day, but i am still trying to get used to a quart of coffee sitting in my bottom for 10 mins. Your stomach bubbles and pushes out as gravity just pushes it in. It’s so weird at first, but I’m trying to get used to it. The stomach expansion makes me more nauseous and afterwards I just don’t feel good. Kinda dizzy. Sometimes I fall asleep right after as it zaps my energy, which is OPPOSITE of what others say. Some say you feel so awake from the coffee.  They say it causes the liver to excrete bile and detox. I know it's becoming popular in America, but I won't be someone telling anyone to do this.  I'm just following the doctors orders and hoping all this kicks my liver and kidneys to work properly.

I had a bowel movement on Sunday that looked like black sludge was weaved throughout it.   For a week or two before treatment my bowl movements were yellow. This had to do with my liver issues. My bowels have returned to a normal color/size today. I found this so hard to believe because I feel like I am starving to death on juices.  I dont even understand how I could have a full movement.

A few nights in a row, I have had calf Charlie horses. I googled and saw that the enemas deplete potassium. I asked my doc if I could eat an extra potato on Sunday. He said yes, or eat more raisins. 

Did you know raisins have more potassium than potatoes? I’m surprised. (I can’t eat bananas.)

My doctor recommended that I get Blue Scorpion Venom. 

Wait. 

What? 

He asked what my family history of diseases are and I said cancer. He didn’t seem to care about cancer. What else? I don’t know. Dad died of heart issues and had his first of many heart attacks at 55?? 

No, not that either.

He says my cells show signs of what could turn into lupus or arthritis. My lymphocytes are low and adding this to my treatment will cause my body to strengthen and not allow disease in. Ok, I think my mom has arthritis.

I called Mom that night and asked if we have lupus and arthritis. She said one of my nieces has been diagnosed with both.  Mom says she doesn't have arthritis.  Mom also has dementia, so she might not remember that she has arthritis because I swear she's had it since her 40's.

Hmmm to these sicknesses...

Although I feel like God usually speaks pretty loudly to me on decisions, this wasn't one of them.  I was saying GOD, I'M GOING TO NEED YOU to give me a deep conviction if I'm not suppose to do this.  I asked a few friends to pray and discern and no one felt a pull back.

So yesterday, I took Blue Scorpion venom in my IV. Feel free to Google it.  Stanford and some other places have done studies on it.  It's mainly used in Cuba, Argentina, and Mexico.

I slept 13 hours last night but I was fine this AM. I mean, I’m alive. One of my kidneys hasn’t felt good for 2 months now and I’m just waiting for that thing to stop aching. I don’t really have energy today and still want to go back to bed as I write this on my phone as Daniela is in the dentista.  This morning I was walking slowly around and didn’t want to eat because of nausea. I just felt drained and sick.

I am finishing this at 9pm and some of my energy returned and I feel much better than I did this morning.  I still have this foggy brain feeling.  I can't remember things the last few days and I feel like I keep repeating myself.

Update y'all next week.  xoxo

Education by Daniela

 Education

As a child, I never had the privilege of dreaming for a future outside of poverty. Around me, all I saw were people who were stuck in misery and always on the verge of losing everything, no matter how hard they worked to get it in the first place. Whenever I asked my mother why people lived that way, she always insisted that it was due to lack of resources for education.  In the DR, you have to pay for books and uniforms to go to school.

My mother never got to finish first grade. In my seven-year-old head, I thought that the only way out of poverty would be through education. From the beginning, I put all my attention into learning everything I could to escape the hand that was dealt on my life. Every thought about the injustice of my situation was eradicated when I realized that the circumstances life hands you do not matter as much as what you do to change them.

I saw my mother being murdered in front of my eyes at the age of nine (2013). The person who motivated me to find a better future no longer had one herself. With no one to help me financially with my education, I was unable to study for a full year. In 2014,  I was adopted by a woman who valued education and had a love for Christ.  She taught me that I could overcome any circumstances and find full healing in Jesus.  At first Mom thought that learning a language on top of my traumatic experiences and managing school was too risky. But, I was willing to do whatever it took to take advantage of the opportunity that was given to me.

I learned to write, speak, and read English in just one year. As I learned a new language, more doors opened in my favor. To the point that I was offered a position in what was said to be one of the best bilingual institutions in the country. That opportunity made me realize how powerful communication was for everyone.

My dreams of a better future became more and more concrete. I imagined what I could do with more knowledge ​​at my disposal. The tongue is an essential tool for causing change. Additionally, the range of influence only grows with your knowledge!

I consider it important for others to be offered more opportunities to learn a new skill, as this would help them be better equipped to handle future situations that may arise. This will help the future generation have the right tools at their disposal to be able to think critically and make better informed decisions about the fate of humanity. What are you doing to change your circumstances?

A. Daniela Espinal

Where is Jessica?

Life update. I didn't get my diet plan and workout schedule today, so I don't really have a new update to that, so while I waited for Dani at the dentist this AM, I wrote this:

Where’s Jessica? 

Y’all have been trinkling in week after week in my inbox asking. I want to remind you all that it’s ok to ask people what’s going on in their lives. We should be asking. 

She is currently not living with Daniela and I. She is living with one of her sisters, by her own choice.

The last 4 years have slowly become worse and worse. I can’t exactly tell you when it started, but I do know she learned about this Satanic cartoon from her classmates and she began to mimic the cartoon. I didn’t know why she was always tired and where she learned to raise her fist at my face, but these crazy behaviors started. Soon I realized she was stealing computers at night to watch this cartoon. She became so obsessed and watched it for hours through the night. 

Back in March, Daniela was extremely sick and Jessica was living outside for 7 straight days. She had run away, which she ran away all the time at this point. So this time, in the middle of the night, she was breaking in through windows to get food then crawl back outside to live. She was sleeping under the house in the dirt or in the fields.  She was convinced that I do not get to have rules and regulations. She quit school already by this point. She demanded that she lives how she wanted to without anyone telling her what to do. 

Most mornings over the last few years, Jessica woke up angry. Angry that she couldn’t get up when she wanted to! Slamming and breaking things in the house in fits of rage. Literally trashing her entire room tossing everything everywhere. 

When school would start, she’d run out of the house screaming, FUCK YOU, Bitch! I’m outta here! Or Burn In hell, you son of a bitch! (Mimicking this cartoon)

If I would be talking to her about something she did, she would get nose to nose and say, “slap me, so I can go to bed because I’m sick and tired of listening to your voice!”  Dani usually would come out of her room by now yelling Mom, BACK UP from her! (Dani knows she has some authority to hold me accountable.

2 summers ago she was in a mental institution here in another town. Her psychologist recommended it because she heard voices telling her to kill herself. 

She seemed calm for a few weeks then returned to normal. Life was so chaotic.  Everyone was miserable.

She also threatened to kill us.  Dani and I would hide the knives and sleep together locking the door.

Life became a daily mess. Dani and I would let her sleep late to not wake her, tip toeing around to not let the BOMB wake up. 

I knew I was losing my mind. I felt traumatized. You can only ask people to take Jessica so much.  The reality is people had their own lives and watching a kid that’s crazy isn’t exactly fun. Some people just said no. 

And some said give me that kid and come back when you want to!

One day, Daniela came to me.

Why are you waiting for one of us to get hurt? 

Wait. What? 

It was like—I see it all and I’m affected by it all, but Daniela woke me up that this is her life, too. 

Yeah, Mom, I hate living here. I can’t wait to go to college. I finally got out of my violent life and now, I have to live like that again!? I dream of leaving! I can’t wait to get out of this house. 

WAIT. 

What if we let her move out like she wants and then no one has to get hurt?  YES, Mom!  Let her go if she wants to go!

One of my pastor’s is an orphanage director and we had him come to the house to talk to us and Jessica didn’t want to live there. 

Ok, what about her local family. Her sister heard she was staying at her aunts and she came into town that night a couple hours away. 

I didn’t post because I thought after a day she would wake up and want to live with us. Ok, maybe it will take a week. Maybe a month!? 2 months? 

We talk to her almost weekly and every week I end the call asking if she’s ready to come home. The answer is always “No, I don’t want to live with you guys.”  We have secret ways in English/Spanish to tell me to come get her.  She knows my door is always open and she just needs to call day or night and say, come get me!

I don’t understand but I do know she isn’t having massive breakdowns there. She’s not violent. She doesn’t run away. She hasn’t threatened to kill herself or others. 

Dani asked if it upsets me that “I couldn’t do it.”

I started to cry. I don’t think like that, at all.   Even if I don’t believe in earthly happiness/joy/peace. I’m thankful for the first time in years cortisol isn’t flooding this child all day long and she’s found some sort of calmness. I cry that she finally doesn’t cry and want to die. If letting her move out keeps everyone alive, then this is the best we can do right now.

I don’t think Jessica is gone from our family forever. I have full Dominican legal rights to her and haven’t signed it over. We pray and fast that God will convict her heart. In the end, you couldn’t say Jesus without her slamming her head against a wall or screaming covering her ears. 

My hope is God is with her. And that one day, she will turn. I often have this vision of her on a stage speaking her testimony. 

A powerful one it will be.

Join me in prayer as Daniela's little sister's parents are thinking about taking Jessica in.  This Dominican family values family, education, and therapy.  Jess was in therapy before but her sister said she didn't need it anymore when she moved in there.   We are closer to the little sister's family than we are her older sisters.  They also have internet and we could talk to Jessica more often.